Chinese New Year News Quiz
Can you pick the truthful answer from the jumble of half-truths and outright lies?
1) The Democratic Party and CY Leung have been scoring a political points off each other because the CE isn’t going to the party’s annual Chinese New Year Dinner. CY says it’s because:
- He never received an invitation.
- He’s just not big on abalone, which is why people hate him.
- He can’t control his seething hate for the Democratic Party.
- He’s, um, washing his hair that night.
2) The woman who was jailed for abusing Indonesian domestic helper Erwiana Sulistyaningsih has hit back at the helper, insisting that she was framed for the crime and explaining that she had been bullied while in prison. She’s likened her spell behind bars for torturing the domestic helper to “Hell,” which...
- Proves that karma’s a bitch.
- Is pretty hilarious.
- Is basically the plot of kooky hit TV drama “Orange is the New Black,” except for the fact that she was proved in a court of law to have physically and mentally abused another human being.
- Gives Hell a bad name.
3) The government has skipped a vetting procedure in LegCo concerning the controversial further funding of the high-speed Guangzhou rail link. This is because...
- The opposition has tied up the bill, and the government badly needs the money by the end of the month.
- The government has finally snapped and told Long Hair that it’s fed up with his shit and just isn’t going to put up with it any more.
- Secretary for Transport Anthony Cheung has been desperate to go to Guangzhou for years now, and he just can’t wait past 2018. Maybe 2019. 2020 at the outside.
- What have vets got to do with transportation funding? Honestly, some people are really silly.
4) Hong Kong property sales have plummeted to their lowest figures in 25 years, and property agents predict a further slump after the New Year. This is attributed to...
- A spate of bad news for buyers, including interest rate hikes and the withdrawal of government land sales.
- Miniscule studio apartments with poor water pressure, haphazard electricity and severe mold problems inexplicably going out of style among young upwardly mobile 20-somethings.
- All 7.2 million Hongkongers renouncing the concept of ownership to set up a Communist utopia, the only move left that would genuinely terrify Beijing.
- Have you SEEN house prices? Sales are plummeting because nobody can afford to BUY. IT’S NOT HARD TO UNDERSTAND!!!
5) Hongkongers are advertising for people to take home to their parents over Chinese New Year. They are offering $250 per hour to applicants who...
- Masquerade as the person’s partner over the CNY festivities.
- Are western and therefore get any lai see. It’s a charity thing.
- Engage in reprehensible acts in front of the entire family, to prove that not being a lawyer or a doctor isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a kid.
- Have sex with them when this is all over.