A Hong Kong Eclipse
Hong Kong witnessed a partial solar eclipse this week, although it was mostly hidden behind cloud cover. It got us thinking about other people and places in our magnificent city where brilliance is clouded over.
This week we learned that come November, we might be able to store up to $3,000 on our Octopus cards. Sure, there are valid concerns about how easy it is to steal money from contactless cards. But the true genius of loading up an Octopus with $3,000 is this: The garlic noodles in 7-Eleven cost about $10. Suddenly we’ve enabled the effortless purchase of 300 orders of garlic noodles, or “one drunk person’s worth.” This is a total game-changer.
No one’s giving the previously missing, now discovered bookseller enough credit. After all, wasn’t he able, apparently singlehandedly, to smuggle himself from Hong Kong to the mainland undetected? Sure, most people are trying to go the other direction, but hey: that’s ingenuity for you.
We all thought the ailing broadcaster had finally run out of money last week and would shut down—until a representative of investor Si Rongbin showed up with LITERALLY a suitcase full of cash and injected enough money to keep the station creaking onwards until April 1, when its license expires. Do you see the genius at work here? Every additional day that ATV is on the air is one more day we don’t have to use the internet to download clunky poorly dubbed 90s China travel shows, which is the only thing anyone wants to watch. Yes, this is just a brilliant scheme to ensure the failure of Netflix.
The Hong Kong Indigenous member, who picked up 60,000 votes in the recent Legco by-election, admitted this week that despite his fervently anti-mainland stance, he was actually born on the mainland. To an unexperienced observer, this might deserve a whole new section in the dictionary under “irony.” But look a little deeper: Leung’s a first-generation immigrant trying to fend off other immigrants, right? Well, surely no one could be that much of a hypocrite. It HAS to be a cunning plot. Doesn’t it?
If there was ever a case of hiding your light under a bushel, this is it. The Chief Executive’s aloof, uncaring demeanor obviously hides a bleeding heart that’s desperate to interact with the people of Hong Kong. The sad tragedy is that he can never do it and still retain the love of China. Love or be loved: How can we ask any human being to choose between the two?! Pity poor CY Leung. Pity him.