I've never understood the fascination with vampires and their unsociable feeding habits. With their pasty complexions, grand gothic gesturing and legs skinnier than your average New York hipster, these mythological beings seem to spend the majority of their time moping around like pubescent teenagers on an enforced Twitter detox. So much for the sex, sorcery and blood buzz - you'll find more joy and positivity in a crack den.
However, as one of the pre-eminent figures of the classic horror genre, the vampire has proven to be a rich subject for the movie industry. Less traditional than Bela Lugosi's first talking portrayal of Dracula, in 1931, the vampires lurking about in recent years have been all sultry stares and coiffured hair - and never more so than in the Twilight series.
Adapted from the chick-lit romance novels by Stephenie Meyer and starring real-life on-again-off-again couple Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson (any adult heard calling them K-Stew and R-Patz should be tarred and feathered), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (Fox Movies Premium, Saturday at 9pm) is the fifth and final - and the highest-grossing - instalment of the franchise.
It picks up right where Part 1 (which will air immediately beforehand) left off, with Bella Swan (Stewart) now a full-time, no-nonsense bloodsucker - and looking far happier for it - thanks to hubby Edward Cullen (Pattinson; above with Stewart).
The couple have just become parents to a rapidly growing half-breed but, as Bella begins to embrace her role as mother and enjoy some nifty new superpowers, werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner, who does OK at keeping his top on for a change), the third cog in a defunct love triangle, sticks his oar in and the sinister vampire police, the Volturi, are called in to confront the Cullens.
If you are a fan of the Twilight franchise, you'll greatly enjoy this movie, and it's far more entertaining than Breaking Dawn - Part 1, which deserved the negative reviews it got. It's also a fitting and satisfying conclusion to Bella and Edward's love story. But there's still enough dramatic pouting and teenage angst to stun a lair of emo kids, and if you've never seen any of the previous movies, this certainly won't win you over.