Bon Jovi
This House is Not for Sale
Island

Few reading this will have grown up without going through an awkward teenage phase. Maybe it was just poor fashion choices and dodgy haircuts, or a few years spent being a brooding tortured soul. My phase included a fascination with glam metal. From Poison and Mötley Crüe to the Dogs D’Amour, all the preened rockers I loved at the time have long since run out of hairspray and eyeliner. Thirty years on, however, and the one exception is Bon Jovi, who are still churning them out. This House is Not for Sale is the New Jersey rockers’ 13th studio album and the follow-up to 2013’s What About Now, but it’s the first since the departure of original guitarist Richie Sambora (although you’d be hard pressed to notice his absence). Unfortunately, there’s very little to distinguish the radio-friendly rock, built around huge stadium choruses and trite lyrics (“higher than a rocket on the 4th of July”, “If I want some sugar, I’ll get it from your lips”), from anything created during their previous decade of stagnation.