It's been a strange few weeks, hasn't it? Following the crowning of the wrong Miss Universe, it was revealed that Academy Award-winning actor Sean Penn had been hanging out with fugitive drug kingpin El Chapo, at the latter's Mexican hideaway. Meanwhile, Planet Earth turned blue with the news that a beloved starman had made his final departure, a former supermodel announced her engagement to Dr Evil and the iconic Jack Daniels and Coke was renamed "The Lemmy", in honour of the recently passed Motorhead legend. Oh, and innocent Syrian civilians are still being murdered every day by the holier-than-thou Western warlords, a fact that seems to have been brushed under the carpet in the hope that we'll all forget about it.
All in all, my head and heart have taken a battering recently, so turning to the television for some distraction from the drama, I searched, for the first time ever, for a reality show; one that focused on the mundane life of Mr Joe Public, something to take my mind off fallen rock gods. Blue collar, all-American mechanic David Howe seemed to fit the bill, except, would you believe, he has just discovered a startling secret. Apparently he's a descendant of a king and as such an heir to the throne of the Isle of Man!
For the past few centuries, the tiny island battered by the waves of the Irish Sea hasn't recognised a king, but that's all about to change because Howe has convinced his wife and daughter to travel more than 4,800km to discover what it means to be nouveau royalty.
Twelve-part fish-out-of-water docuseries Suddenly Royal (above; TLC, Wednesday at 11pm) follows the Howes as they stake their blue-blooded claim and attempt to ingratiate themselves with the locals. Will the Manx welcome them kindly as they try to take their throne? No, of course they won't. Where would be the fun in that? You're more likely to find proof of extraterrestrial life than see Brits accept a Yankee king.
So it's just as well, then, that this week also sees the highly anticipated return of paranormal investigators Mulder and Scully. That's right, 13 years after the nine-season original run concluded, The X-Files is back, and although it's only as a six-episode miniseries for now (beginning tomorrow at 9pm, on FX, with the second episode the following night), fans of the cult sci-fi drama will probably be feeling the same as star Gillian Anderson, who said she would be "f***ing overjoyed" to see the show revived.
In case you missed the pop-culture phenomenon the first time around, The X-Files follows FBI special agents Dana Scully (Anderson; The Fall) and Fox Mulder (David Duchovny; Californication) as they investigate spooky cases for which the only answers seem to lie in the paranormal. The show's creator, Chris Carter, is onboard again and, in reference to the period the show has been away, he has stated, "The good news is the world has only gotten that much stranger, a perfect time to tell these six stories."
Will it be a return to past glories or another missed opportunity, like 2008's disappointing movie spin-off, The X-Files: I Want to Believe? Your guess is as good as that of the little green fella sitting next to me.