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In with the new, out with the old

The Aristocrat talks about staying ahead of the game in 2018. Illustration: MAXIM SAVVA / ILLUSTRATIONROOM.COM.AU

Happy New Year. You know what this means? Another year I’ll be turning 29 years old. Although to be honest, it gets harder and harder to not feel much, much older.

I used to say I want to act my waist, not my age. Then it got hard to keep my waist in check. Going to the gym twice a week used to let me indulge all I wanted on the other five days and nights. Going full throttle at after-hours clubs used to be easy and fun. Now, it’s not particularly easy nor fun.

There was a time I loved all-night raves followed by Tsui Wah noodles at 6am.

Now that I am, um, 29, instead of getting ready to go out at midnight, I’m looking forward to climbing under a big duvet and sleeping in late. Also, I have to remember to never use the word “rave” because no one younger than 30 knows what that word means.

The difficulty of remaining young goes beyond staying up late. You have to be engaged and aware of new and relevant trends. The trick is to know which fads to follow.

It’s important to know the names of cool new designers and use and own the right stylish tech. But one should never blindly follow what the younger generation is doing. Slipping into a pair of Yeezy sneakers looks good and makes you on point with Kanye’s millennial base, but it’s a monumental mistake if you think you’re sexy sporting trashy Daisy Duke shorts so ripped and distressed your ageing butt cheeks are peeking out. That is as unsightly as any adult ordering a Unicorn Frappacino at Starbucks.

Part of the disciplined effort to feel young is not giving in to lazy nostalgia. It’s easy to stay in perpetual obsession with the same music, movies, clothes and lifestyle you grew up enjoying. However, one must realise even former teen star Britney Spears is now an old-school headliner in Las Vegas. Leonardo DiCaprio is not young Jack Dawson any more. Heck, no one is even following Rob Pattinson (Team Edward) or Taylor Lautner (who is he again?).

Learn to embrace some new pop culture. Recently, a university friend whined about a music festival that put an EDM – that’s electronic dance music, you old fogey – group’s name above a popular ’90s alternative band. “They don’t make music like they used to,” my classmate complained. Clearly, Uptown Funk ain’t givin’ it to him. He quickly shut up when I told him that’s what my grandfather used to say about the Beatles.

If you really want to impress people in this day and age, download some DJ Snake and The Chainsmokers instead of bragging about your Blur and Oasis CD collection. And stop hoping for a Friends reunion. Nobody watches TV any more.

Follow our Aristocrat as she attends the hottest parties and events in town

Make sure you remain up-to-date and sophisticated as you get older