Adoption taboo must end, says Hong Kong mum who gave up baby and another who adopted
One went through the pain of giving up her daughter, the other through the joy of adopting: both say it's time for the community to talk
Hong Kong's Chinese community must overcome a taboo surrounding adoption and be more open in discussing unplanned pregnancies.
That's the plea from two mothers - one who gave up her newborn after hiding her pregnancy from her family, and an adoptive mother who has witnessed firsthand the difficulties faced by local couples.
Birth mother Lily said that after the initial shock of falling pregnant, she decided adoption was best for her unborn child.
"Back then I could not have taken care of her at all," Lily said. She considered an abortion, but decided against it after hearing her baby's first heartbeats, despite the father of her boyfriend offering to pay for the procedure.
Ten years ago, at the age of 20, Lily gave birth. The baby's father was four years younger than her.
"I didn't tell my mother," said Lily, who was afraid she would be thrown out of the house. "I sometimes wondered if I should've told her. Maybe she would have understood."
Her elder brother took her to Mother's Choice, an independent non-profit organisation that offers adoption services and support to young pregnant women facing difficult circumstances. Her brother lied to the family, saying that she was studying out of town while she stayed at the group's hostel and gave birth. Lily only saw her daughter twice - once after birth at the hospital and once in a taxi as she took her to a Mother's Choice centre.