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Women under pressure to marry may be vulnerable to online dating scammers. Image: SCMP

Hong Kong’s gender imbalance and marriage pressure blamed for rise in online dating scams

Alarming new figures show 114 cases of online dating fraud last year, costing victims a total of HK$95 million

City Weekend

Hong Kong’s gender imbalance and societal pressure on women to get married are among factors being blamed for a rise in online dating scam cases, which have increased fourfold in the city in just three years.

Last year, 114 cases of online dating fraud were reported to police in the city, costing victims a total of HK$95 million, alarming new figures show.

In 2014, there were 29 cases reported, costing HK$30.3 million, while in 2015, police handled 62 cases involving total losses of HK$32.42 million.

The figures suggest Hong Kong women have become increasingly vulnerable to online dating scams.

Scammers typically pose as Western professionals working in Southeast Asia, possibly as bankers or entrepreneurs. After forming an online relationship with their victims, they will ask them for money to pay off a tax debt or even a customs payment for a gift they claim they are intending to send them.

Previous scams have seen victims then depositing significant amounts of money into bank accounts in foreign countries including Malaysia. Their scammers will then disappear shortly after the transaction or even several transactions despite making promises of romantic commitment and even marriage.

Generally, the scammer will never meet their victim throughout this deception game, which generally lasts between one and six months.

Police rarely catch the culprits because the online nature of their crime makes them difficult to trace, and they are often based outside of Hong Kong.

Police officers meet the press in March to appeal to residents to be aware of online dating scams. Photo: David Wong

The ones that are tracked down are generally arrested for money laundering offences.

Police have said victims tend to be well-educated, professional women in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Their scammers tend to research them extensively online before making contact, using details from their social networking profiles to help them initiate conversations.

Local dating experts have blamed Hong Kong’s gender imbalance and pressures from family and friends to get married for the scamming trend. By the end of 2015, there were 571,700 more women than men in Hong Kong, with the biggest difference in the 30-44 age bracket. In 2013, a total of 55,274 marriages were registered in the city, just 52.2 per cent of which (28,837) were between two Hongkongers. This marked a decline from 2012, when 32,523 marriages were between locals. Meanwhile in 2013, 28.5 per cent of marriages involved men marrying women from the mainland.

Ng Mei-ling, better known as Mei-ling in the matchmaking industry and founder of dating agency Hong Kong Matchmakers, said the lack of marriageable men in Hong Kong meant it was “not difficult to understand why women would be vulnerable and easily fall prey to predators”.

“It is not so much social pressure or parental pressure which rush the women to get married by a certain age; nowadays Hong Kong women are career-focused and their parents know better than to say anything in that direction,” she said. “More often it’s just loneliness and the feeling of being left out as their girlfriends get married and have children, moving into another life cycle and lifestyle which are no longer commensurate with theirs.”

Ng said she would advise women looking for love to “be realistic” and “trim their laundry lists of utopia-ish criteria”.

“Cast your net wider and further, look beyond Hong Kong, and accept a larger age difference,” she said.

Ariadna Peretz, founder of dating agency Maitre D’Ate, said the societal pressure on Hong Kong women to be married by the time they reach their 30s could be making them more vulnerable to scammers.

She advised people seeking love online to meet their prospective match within one week of commencing contact, in order to “weed out the scammers” and time-wasters who “only feed you breadcrumbs”.

“The pressure women feel from friends and family could be contributing,” she said. “Or even just from colleagues asking: ‘Why are you single?’ Around Lunar New Year, people will even take fake dates to family gatherings to avoid the questions.”

 

WATCH: Parents of Beijing singletons meet in park to market marriageability of their children

 

Peretz recommended singles trust their gut instinct if they feel they are being scammed or conned.

“If it feels too good to be true, then it is,” she said. “Your intuition is almost always correct. But you can be so blinded by that hope that you can still fall prey to scammers.”

And Carolyn Chan, founder of dating agency So Klose, said the Chinese cultural preoccupation with “leftover women” meant single women in their mid 30s and 40s felt pressure to get married in order to “save face”.

 

If it feels too good to be true, then it is
Ariadna Peretz, founder of dating agency Maitre D’Ate

 

“Those victims are very often in the pursuit of a romantic love fantasy, in an effort to get their sense of security and worth from another person because they felt empty and lonely,” she said. “The scammers will take advantage of their loneliness to show their love and passion to the victims, who will then feel as though they are falling in love.”

The problem has become so prevalent in Hong Kong that police have stepped up awareness campaigns, warning women particularly not to give out personal details to online friends.

 

One victim, who did not wish to be identified, said she was scammed while working in Hong Kong in 2010 after meeting a man called Markus on a dating forum, who she was in contact with for six months but never met.

 

Dating apps offer huge opportunities but also present dangers. Photo: Alamy Stock Photo

 

She eventually made a US$1,000 transfer to Markus after he claimed he had been arrested on the way to meet her in the Philippines and needed bail money. But alarm bells began ringing, she said, when she realised his bank account was registered in a Malaysian name. Then later, she said she became certain she had been conned after he cut contact and never arrived in the Philippines.

“These two men I had contact with – Frank and Markus – were insistent,” she said. “They both said they are in London; Markus said he was a doctor in one of the hospitals around London. And Frank said he was originally from Nigeria.

“They tried to woo me with nice words until I fell in love. Frank said his daughter was ill and that he did not have enough money. But after sending him £50 (HK$487), I retracted the money because I could sense he was not really in the UK.

 

Victims are very often in the pursuit of a romantic love fantasy
Carolyn Chan, founder of dating agency So Klose

 

“However, I was desperate to find a friend so I kept on communicating with Markus.

“[Scammers] prey on old people who are about to retire from their work.

“It was like I was under hypnosis; so I ended up sending US$1,000 to a man with a Malaysian name.

“Then I realised it was all a scam. I tried to ask my former employer for her help but it was all too late.

“I felt devastated. But I tried to think that I had lost it in gambling, in a big casino.”

Chan said the online scam cases underlined the point that women should not believe men who present themselves as “Prince Charming” online.

“Most of the victims are looking for a perfect partner,” she said. “But they are lonely and frustrated, so when they have someone of very good quality approaching them, they think it’s real. They should approach imperfect people, too, because a true relationship is two imperfect people.”

 

 

Hallmarks of a scam

Scam awareness website Male-Scammers.com, based in the United States, reproduces emails which have been sent to women as part of a scam. It provides examples of a series of emails which were sent to a Hong Kong-based woman ahead of an attempt to extort money from her.

Highly romantic language

The letters feature over-romanticised phrases in which the scammer, known as “David Hanson”, referred to his victim as “an angel, a precious flower and a treasure to behold”, despite never having met her.

Promise of marriage after financial transaction

The author promises to travel to Hong Kong and marry his victim after she has made a number of online transfers to his bank account in Malaysia. He promises his victim that he will be a good husband once they eventually meet. “I’m already feeling so much love for you, my darling, I pray to God to help me in being a good husband, to fulfil my roles as a loving, caring, honest and kind husband, making you happy always and giving you the best of my love, not looking after myself but for your needs and the needs of others, so that God will bless our efforts,” he says.

Widower storyline

David describes himself as a widowed 43-year-old Dutch civil engineer based in London who “deals in construction of estates, condominiums, schools”. He explains that his wife died in a car accident three years ago and that he has now hired a maid to help him look after his eight-year-old daughter.

Grammatical errors

David’s written English is largely accurate but there are some grammatical errors (“Please dear, I am not being so fast, but I need to express myself and disclose to you my heart desires”).

Offer of phone contact

He encourages his would-be girlfriend to text him on what appears to be a British mobile number and pledges to be in regular contact.

Financial security

He expresses how finding love again is the only area of his life which he is still working on, saying: “I am blessed both financially and otherwise, but all is not complete without an honest kind woman.” He notably states he is financially secure despite him asking his victim to transfer money to him.

Distance no barrier to love

David also continually emphasises that the new relationship can flourish despite both parties living thousands of kilometres away from each other. “My dear, I want you to know that distance will never be a barrier to us.”

Religious overtones

The author consistently refers to his belief in God and emphasises the idea that fate has brought him and his victim together. “You cannot imagine how much I have prayed asking God for a partner like you.”

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