Up close and personal: eating out with children

It's not something I like to admit, but in my years BC (Before Child) I was one of those people you find in restaurants or cafes who visibly bristle when young children are seated close by. I'm sure you know the type. In a way, I wish I could apologise for being "that guy".

I often think back to those years when I take my own child into a restaurant, particularly an upmarket one. I've not only repented of my anti-children-in-restaurant ways, but have come to believe it's very important to sit children alongside adults, even at the best tables in town.

I grew up in a household where mealtimes were a big deal. We erred on the side of formality - not so much because my parents were ceremonial folk, but because they saw meals as an important way to bring the family together. As immigrants in a strange land, struggling with the language and customs of their new home, our mealtimes were an opportunity to indulge familiar tastes and habits while speaking our native tongue. We always shared stories as we ate dinner together.

As a young child, I was served smaller portions than the grown-ups but was always given the same food. Of course, not every family approaches meals this way. Some do not eat together, often preferring to feed children at a different time, or even at a different table, to the grown-ups. And while very young children have special dietary needs, some parents choose to continue feeding their children different dishes to the grown-ups', even once the children are well into their teens.

At the time of my life when I was "that guy", I was shocked to see that my in-laws would, at large family gatherings, seat the children at a separate table and serve them a different menu. Something gave when my own daughter was born and the instinct to share my culture kicked in. From an early age, we sat our child down with us at meals and introduced the food we ate to her, both at home and on our travels.

Pretty soon we noticed that she was rejecting that bastion of children's dining - the children's meal. I can't remember exactly how old she was, but it would have been around five or six, when she told me why she preferred to order from the adult menu. Although the children's menus always had things she enjoyed - pizza, burgers, pasta - the versions of those served up for the children were never as good as the ones the adults received. I've often caught myself wondering what we are doing by seating children at different tables to eat. Could we be doing them a disservice, robbing them of important experiences?