Pitfalls of over-rewarding children's achievements

Most would agree that a carrot generally works better than a stick. Many parents give their children a small treat, or a gift, when they do well in school as encouragement. Some resort to giving cash or a coveted gadget as an incentive to work harder. Critics decry the practice as a kind of bribery that undermines the real value of learning, but is it simply just a matter of paying for good performance?

Accountant Fung Wai-man rejects the notion of material rewards to motivate youngsters in their studies, although her husband Arthur Yuen Kwong-hung, a sales executive, believes that the gifts are the best way to recognise their two daughters' efforts at school.

"I don't give them anything. But my husband is indulgent and satisfies most of their material wants. A 'pass' is good enough for him; they don't even have to score high marks in tests. He thinks children should be encouraged and appreciated by parents all the time."

The couple's daughters, Sugar, 18, and Cherry, 24, have responded differently to these divergent parenting styles. Sugar, a Form Six student, appreciates the treats, and tries her best at school. But Fung feels Cherry has come to associate parental love with material gifts.

"She thinks her dad loves her very much, and I am a stern mum who just sets rules," Fung says. "Cherry doesn't have a clear value system. She asks us to buy her everything, like a mobile phone or a handbag. The cost never crosses her mind. She takes the gifts for granted."

Although her husband gave Cherry whatever she wanted for making the slightest improvements, Fung says, their elder daughter did not do well in public exams, and became a beautician after leaving secondary school.