So near, yet so feared: alas and a lack

Over the years it has happened on more occasions than I can count … I'm in the middle of some story about my latest surreal exploit on the mainland when my interlocutor gets a brilliant idea: "Why don't you move to the mainland?"

Each time I try to explain that, while the mainland is excellent for holidays short and long, I wouldn't like to live there. Most things I do online would be illegal, or impossible, for a start. There would be no South China Morning Post. And I don't know if I could put up with people smoking in lifts every day.

Having said that, every time I'm in the mainland I frequently think to myself: "Why can't we have that in Hong Kong?"

Take coconut milk, for example. Yes I know it exists in Hong Kong but it's for cooking and comes in a tin you have to open with a can opener; it's not a feature of convenience stores, like lemon tea or Coke are. In the mainland it is.

Did you know coconut milk is an excellent cure for a hangover? As is a foot massage. Why can't there be a cheap foot masseuse on every corner, especially in Pui O, where I live?

Last time my friend and fellow villager C and I were hungover, we had to drive to the airport for a foot massage. A half-hour session was exactly 10 times the price of an hour's massage in Shenzhen. And we didn't get any complimentary fruit!