A tragedy occurred last night. Was I the only devoted TVB Pearl typhoon bulletin watcher to spot the demise of cartoon weatherman Freddie? One minute he was clinging to a lamp post in the gales, the next, whoosh! A huge gust of wind wrenched him off and away he went. Gone, presumably never to return, after decades of telling us whether it was safe to venture out without a brolly or not.
Where would we be without Freddie and the other TVB stars on typhoon nights? Those brave reporters stand there, defying the weather in Lei Ye Mun or some other windswept spot, bravely bringing us the latest update. I’m glad to see Health and Safety has got on to them and TVB has forked out for some stylish canary yellow mackintoshes and construction-strength hard hats, instead of those flimsy things they used to wear. Much safer if a rogue flower pot lands on their heads.
Architectural dig
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it’s time for a little typhoon housekeeping. Well, there’s nothing else to do and Park’n‘Rob is shut. First the fridge. This resembles an architectural dig, as past-their-sell-by-date items are dragged from the back. Half-eaten packs of fossilised sliced cheese, hard little black lumps that once wee blueberries, ancient half-eaten jars of marmalade sprouting interesting green whiskers. Not much here – ah, that’s because the last typhoon was only a few weeks ago. It hasn’t had time to build up again. Switch to the cupboards. Out come the storm rations: tins of spam and tuna, jars of gherkins, mincemeat and Christmas pudding from last year’s hamper. It’s like one of those challenge rounds on Master Chef – what can you make with this eclectic bunch of ingredients? Not much. Let’s forget solids. So you polish off the dregs of a bottle of gin and remains of some flat tonic instead and wonder would it be really dreadful to open a bottle of wine, by yourself?
Weather girls
Then you remember TVB Freddie is dead, so the storm must be bad, somewhere, even though it’s only drizzling in Happy Valley. The Observatory website has the latest news on Typhoon Usagi, which displayed the usual sense of typhoon timing, waiting until 7pm on a Sunday night to ramp up to signal 8. What use is that to worn-out wage slaves, longing for an extra-long long weekend?