Dr Doom gives whole new meaning to peak Eclectic charge . . . Tom attacks - see Light Humour THE latest Gloom , Boom and Doom Report has appeared from the word processor of iconoclast investment advisor Marc Faber.
Marc reckons that 'after 1997 property prices will soar', the rebound has already started - and he wrote it on a laptop while standing in the queue to buy flats in South Horizons! No, just joking. Apologies to readers who've fainted into their breakfast.
Dr Doom reckons that 'a secular long-term bear market has begun, and that in real terms prices are unlikely to ever exceed their early 1994 highs'.
It's impossible to cram the supporting arguments into this space, but there's an interesting thought behind it - that it's possible for some financial indices to reach a high they never return to, even in 1,000 years, once inflation is counted in.
For example, cotton speculators who mis-timed their purchases during the American Civil War have, in the past months, had their first chance to get out at the price they got in - and that's without counting inflation.
Closer to home, even in the Hong Kong stock bubble of 1993, plenty of stocks were only half the price in real terms they were at in the even more outrageous stocks bubble of 1972. Marc may not be the most mainstream property analyst in town, but he's very honest in declaring an interest.
Seems his musings were prompted by the fact that he's renegotiating an office lease in New World Tower.
Radio ICAC GIVE up that Sunday morning lie-in and you can hear the Jim Buckle Radio Show.
Jim is director of operations at the Independent Commission Against Corruption, and when we first heard about this we thought it was a counterstrike against Alex Tsui Ka-kit, the ICAC boss-turned radio star who left in somewhat strained circumstances.
'It's only an interview,' said Jim when we rang him yesterday afternoon about his show. 'It's not a job.' It turns out he's being interviewed and choosing records for an hour on One-to-one at 9 am on RTHK Radio 3.
Despite having an extremely serious sort of job, his choice of discs includes sloppy old stuff like April Love . 'I've always been a Pat Boone fan,' he said.
Light humour IT'S a little late, but here's the inside story of Northern Electric's attempt to escape the clutches of Jardine-controlled Trafalgar House.
Andrew Horne, one of the managers in Northern, has a father called Tom who lives in Stanley, Hong Kong, and hatched a brilliant plan to strike back at the enemy's headquarters.
Tom was kitted out in a Northern Electric tracksuit and sent on an early-morning jog to Jardine House, where he posed brandishing Northern Electric's defence document, as shown above.
The guards worked out something unorthodox was happening, and tried to shoo him off. Maybe they assumed everyone in a tracksuit was a Filipina? Outlawed WE never run jokes about lawyers being vultures delighting in human misfortune because lots of them are fine family-loving folk whose sensitive souls would be deeply hurt.
Also, they sue a lot.
But John Holmes, of law firm Clifford Chance, seemed to live up to the stereotype at yesterday's seminar run by Ferrier Hodgson and Marfan.
Speaking about the arcane topic of capital requirements netting, John said: 'It would have been useful to get some of these concepts proven in law. But I'm quite sure the opportunity will arise soon enough for judicial testing.' John, somehow we guess your pension wasn't managed by Barings.
Weeeeeeeee! A CONTENDER for the Headline of the Year Award is this offering from that perpetual eyebrow-raiser, Japan's Nikkei Weekly: 'Finally! Panties that dissolve in water.' Their remarkable article starts:'What woman hasn't fretted over the possibility that the garbage man may take a peek at her discarded undies, exposed to the world because of Tokyo's requirement that trash bags be transparent?' So Katakura Industries has come up with Miracle Shorts. Before throwing them away, the owner boils them at 90 degrees C and they dissolve.
Independent Commission Against Corruption
'For those women who tend to spill their coffee or tea,' says the Nikkei Weekly, 'an extra bit of caution is advised.'