Lai See

Lai See thinks it's so cute when giant corporations sulk.

Hutchison's lower lip was sticking way out on Friday. That's because they had a secret and told it to their friends, then one of them ran off and tattle taled.

Now Hutchison's not speaking to them anymore.

So there.

It seems the firm is perturbed over a story that cropped up in our newspaper after their Thursday meeting with analysts. That was when they discussed their first quarter results and third-generation mobile-phone investment plans.

At the end of the meeting, the Hutchison hosts said they would send each of their guests a power point file packed with information.

But that was before they opened the newspaper on Friday and discovered they'd been betrayed.

Someone had leaked the contents of their private meeting to the media.

Oh, the treachery! Anyway, Hutchison retaliated by refusing to share their toys, er, we mean power point docs.

? ? ? An advert in the Economic Times has been singing the praises of hkstock.com, 'The world's largest single Chinese portal'.

Hkstock.com is one of three portals owned by Skynet - a listed company formerly known as Companion Marble (Holdings).

Bored with shunting marble about, they turned themselves into an Internet stock instead. Hence hkstock.com.

According to their press release, that one brings in 13.8 million 'average daily page views'.

Very impressive. Of course, their interpretation of the word 'average' isn't quite the same as ours.

Our definition: 'the mean number of views per day taken over a series of days'. Their definition: 'on April 4th'.

Skynet commissioned accountancy firm Deloitte to conduct a pageview count for them, according to their specifications. The number crunchers did as they were told and dropped in on the pre-arranged date.

This they proclaimed to be the 'average' number of page views.

Hmm. Perhaps those Skynet guys have trouble understanding statistical jargon.

People do tend to get confused after losing their marbles.

? ? ? A fax from Beijing Mandarin Hotel's flower shop should get business blossoming.

Reader Peter Humphrey just received one.

It's subject-headed 'Flowers and Gifts' and contains just three sentences: First, 'Passionate and romantic, express your careness and love without statement.' Nothing new under the petal peddling sun there.

Next, 'Prosperity and happiness will go along with flowers into the deep deep bottom of your heart.' Bit over the top, but we take their point.

But then comes the last line, and with it, the hard sell.

Vows the vendor: 'I make damn sure that it must be your good hand for you to enjoy, buy, utilise and present your flowers.' Lai See isn't used to being sworn at by rose sellers.

Mainlanders appear to have a different definition of flowery language.

? ? ? Here's the second half of Magical Blend magazine's 'Starseed quiz'.

That's the one designed to answer the question, 'Are You An Alien?'. Remember, each 'yes' provides further proof that your family traces its roots back to creatures from outer space: Do you take special pleasure in eating scallops? Have you noted an unexplainable attraction to certain felines? Do you see coloured lights when you close your eyes? Do you have a special fascination for hummingbirds? Mushrooms? Owls? Does the current trend of society worry you? Do you occasionally (or more often) sleep in the nude? When alone and indoors, have you ever worked or studied in the nude? Have you ever swum in the nude? And last but definitely not least: As a costume, or mental image, do you sense pleasure from wearing a toga?