The clean living citizens of Discovery Bay are holding an unofficial contest.
They are calling it the 'InDUHviduals Competition' and its aim is to allow Stepford's citizens to swap tales of their experiences dealing with morons (referred to as InDUHviduals for the purpose of the contest).
Whoever can come up with the most outrageous example wins. Here is one example:
'I was buying a shirt in Pacific Place and found one that I really liked.
'Unfortunately it was too long for me in the body and sleeves, so I asked the salesman if he had a shorter one in both areas. He said no but offered the advice that I should buy the shirt as I would most certainly grow into it after a short while and I shouldn't miss out. I am 37 years old.'
Not bad, but Lai See thinks she's got a pretty good shot with her own entry:
'We met this inDUHvidual who said he was willing to spend a fortune on expensive ferries just so he could live in some weird, sterile place where pregnant women ride around in golf carts, and your choice of rival coffee shops is a thorny issue that splits the community, and there were these giant plastic balls that everyone got really upset about, and weird contests and. . .'
Hmm. Maybe not.
Out to lunch: Doom and gloom descended on the China Club yesterday. That's Doom as in Dr Doom - otherwise known as Marc Faber.
His lunch partner was Jimmy Lai, who has every reason to feel gloomy.
We're told the usually flamboyant pair sat in a corner table looking uncharacteristically subdued.
Wonder what they're talking about, the other diners muttered.
We called Mr Faber to find out, but he didn't get back to us.
Still, we're guessing Jimmy must be feeling pretty low, what with his direct-marketing supermarket floundering.
People have begun speculating as to how long the tycoon can keep burning cash on the adMart altar.
Which is why Lai See's surprised by his choice of lunch partner.
You would think he'd be sick of listening to the voice of Doom.
Road thrill: It's a shame the Get A Life Club doesn't have a bigger travel budget.
Oh, sure, this summer had them sending off their entries to the SAR's 'Lift and Escalator Safety Drawing Competition'.
And true there was that big bus depot opening, where members of the public were invited to come and sit on a parked bus.
But we think all the best GALC outings take place in North Korea.
Yesterday, for example, brought with it 'a grand ceremony of opening to traffic the young hero motorway', according to a detailed report from the nation's central news agency.
Thrillingly, 'the motorway is wide enough for several vehicles to run at a time'.
But there's more to this than admiring impressively wide tarmac.
There were also the festivities.
For example: 'the first secretary of the central committee of the Kim Il Sung Socialist Youth League made a report'.
And while the crowd was still reeling from the excitement of that, 'senior party and government officials cut a red cloth hanging across the entrance'.
The climax came when 'at the end of the ceremony its participants looked round the motorway'.
And given the number of North Koreans who can actually afford cars, yesterday's celebrations may have coincided with a second historic event:
The Motorway's Busiest Ever Day.