Name and shame the plummeting prima donnas

In June 1968, during his excavation of a small necropolis about a kilometre outside the city of Paestum, Italian archaeologist Mario Napoli made an important discovery - the Tomb of the Diver. The frescos inside the catacomb dated back to 470BC, when Paestum was a Greek-run community and one of the scenes depicted a young alpha male in the prime of his athleticism vaulting from some classical pillars. It now hangs in a museum and through the air the diver travels on a purposeful trajectory, his graceful arc calculated to take full advantage of the gravitational forces pulling him ever closer to the bosom of Mother Earth.

It's a thought-provoking piece of ancient art that has had academics still pondering its true meaning: just what was the artist attempting to convey? Despite the corrosive effect of time and the aura of history that oozes from the faded pastels, what is crystal clear to the 21st century fan is the diver has an incredible likeness to that of Luis Suarez, Nani, Carlos Tevez, Pablo Zabaleta and Danny Wellbeck - to name but a few of those players who in recent weeks have made similar descents to earth in an attempt to cheat their team to a victory.

Diving, and moaning about it, are back in fashion and making an unwanted splash in the headlines. And once more, the sporting EPL hosts are blaming their foreign and highly paid charges for the latest outbreak of that contemptible rash, "diveagitus". Alex Ferguson claimed this week overseas players are more likely to dive than those from Britain. He was responding to complaints from Manchester City's Sergio Aguero that foreign imports have a tougher time with referees in the EPL. Ferguson, who last fielded questions on this subject when Ashley Young's diving got QPR's Shaun Derry sent off last season, admitted Nani had "made a meal" of a fall under a challenge from Tottenham's Jan Vertonghen last weekend - theatrics that saw him denied a penalty - and the Portuguese player "didn't need to do that".

After City's Tevez and Zabaleta were also denied penalties on the same afternoon at Fulham, Aguero said there was "a little bit of privilege" being afforded to English players.

"Nani is not the type to dive, I know that," insisted Ferguson, defending his own imported answer to high-board Olympian Tom Daley. "It was a penalty kick on Saturday. It's not worth going into that subject because down the years there have been plenty of players diving, and you have to say particularly foreign players," he challenged.

It's true. Italian footballers are credited with promoting the eloquent choreography of placing a foot in front of a defender and going to ground to con the referee half a century ago. Now the natives are as good at the deceit as their continental peers, and exclusively blaming the triple-lutz and piking specialists from overseas smacks of denial, if not prejudice.

Has Ferguson ever ordered any of his players to go down in a heap of flaying limbs? Probably not. But it would be fascinating to see if he would deftly duck such a query if ever asked.