Goalkeepers are easy pickings for strikers 'trawling' for a penalty
Their shortage of true ball skills means they usually come off second best against any wily attacker fishing for a foul
Goalkeepers who attempt to tackle opponents or play the ball with their feet are like fish out of water. When compared with even talented schoolboy outfield players, it is easy to see professional goalkeepers flop, flounder and be all at sea with their incompetent balls skills.
So when a goalkeeper comes charging out of his area in a challenge for the ball with an attacker - such as what happened on New Year's Day between Tottenham Hotspur keeper Hugo Lloris and Manchester United's Ashley Young - the inevitable difference in skill level should be obvious to spot.
Not so for EPL referee Howard Webb, who inexplicably failed to award a penalty to the Red Devils as Young got to the ball first and was then recklessly taken out by Lloris.
Oscar, the Brazilian fisherman, saw a big upturned fish in the form of Davis sliding at him and deliberately dragged his foot low to snag him
David Moyes was understandably incensed calling the decision "scandalous". "If you follow through on a player anywhere else on the pitch with your foot high, it would be a sending off and a red card. You couldn't do that anywhere else. It's an incredible decision which didn't go our way, probably one of the worst I think I saw. It was scandalous - a stonewall penalty kick."
Moyes may seethe, especially after his own player Fabio Da Silva was sent off by referee Mike Dean last Sunday for a high, studs-up challenge on Swansea's Jose Canas, which ultimately saw United eliminated from the FA Cup.
Even new Spurs manager Tim Sherwood, not yet accustomed to the biased ways of managerial speak, admitted surprise: "I haven't seen it back, but at the time I saw it, I thought it was a penalty."
Three days before New Year's Day, Webb also avoided making big decisions during the Chelsea and Liverpool match when he did not award a penalty to Luis Suarez or send off Samuel Eto'o, Lucas and Oscar.
Webb's apparent avoidance of making big decisions is a whole topic in itself. He is England's leading candidate, ahead of Mark Clattenburg, to officiate at the World Cup in Brazil this summer.
Webb has refereed 17 out of 20 EPL matches, which is more than any other referee in the league. Tellingly, he has not awarded a penalty or sent off a player, despite having opportunities.
Goalkeepers are not real soccer players because they cannot tackle, run or pass at a level commensurate with their teammates. They devote their training sessions to mastering how to handle and catch the ball, improve their reactions and recovery times after going to ground, and lumping the ball huge distances upfield.
Because goalkeepers are rubbish ball players there are crafty players who deliberately exploit this fact, such as Chelsea forward Oscar.
On New Year's Day, Oscar effortlessly clipped the ball away from Southampton keeper Kelvin Davis who was sliding uncontrollably towards him and there was contact. Oscar could have easily skipped over him and scored, but instead chose to make contact with the onrushing Davis.
Oscar, the Brazilian fisherman, saw a big upturned fish in the form of Davis sliding at him and deliberately dragged his foot low to snag him. Referee Martin Atkinson knew Oscar was angling for a foul, and correctly cautioned him for diving.
In England, this unsporting activity is called "trawling for a penalty" and Jose Mourinho publicly revealed Oscar admitted intentionally playing Davis for a double whammy (ie, a penalty and a red card against his opponent).
Mourinho, however, refused to reprimand his player. The FA should charge Oscar and Mourinho for unsporting behaviour and acting "in a manner which shows a lack of respect for the game".
If clubs like Chelsea refuse to condemn their players and if the FA refuses to fine players retrospectively for simulation, then these antics on the pitch will simply continue.
Players will continue to trawl for penalties because the risk-to-reward odds remain significantly in their favour. The risk in collecting a yellow card is inconsequential compared with the tasty reward of a double-whammy decision. After Oscar's failed attempt to get an opponent sent off, he later went on to score.
This is also the best evidence yet for competition organisers to introduce retrospective sanctions via video reviews on players who dive. If that happened it would no doubt dramatically reduce the amount of cheating by players and protect the game's image. Now that would be the best kind of double whammy.
A Final Note: One reader last week wrote in accusing Rational Ref of being irrational owing to this column's bias towards referees. This demonstrates a poor understanding of what it means to be biased. Rational Ref is biased towards referees in the same way all good citizens and practitioners of law are biased towards judges and magistrates who uphold, and are seen to uphold, the rule of law. If there is no support for the work of referees (and judges and magistrates), it essentially paves the way for cheating on the pitch (and anarchy in society). Perhaps it might be clearer to say that Rational Ref is biased towards fair play, integrity and justice; which is not irrational.
