THE difference between Laurence Olivier's 1944 Henry V and the one that 28-year-old Kenneth Branagh adapted, directed and starred in 1989, is that Olivier's was made to bring new hope to Britons during the Blitz. Branagh's Henry V (Pearl, 12.15am) is vehemently anti-war. It's a visceral interpretation, with carnage, death, fire, disease and a gruesome hanging. It features a superb cast of British luvvies, among them Richard Briers (who gets hanged) Derek Jacobi, Brian Blessed, Paul Scofield, Ian Holm and Dame Judi Dench as Mistress Quickly. Ken's better half, Emma Thompson, is a perky Gallic princess. She doesn't appear until the end, but is worth waiting for. Branagh's Henrys - the film and the role - are not superior to Olivier's but complementary. It's also a bit of a coming-of-age film. Henry is a young playboy at the outset, but is forced to grow up quickly. Branagh pruned the Bard's play for screen, but all of the important bits are in place, from the deception of Bedford and York to the siege of Harfleur and the famous exhortation to go 'Once more unto the breach'. The undoubted highlight, in a film of few lowlights, is the Battle of Agincourt, the battle the Brits won despite being hugely outnumbered. They did so with 'raining death' - thousands upon thousands of arrows fired into the enemy lines, a tactic captured by Branagh in all its horrific splendour. HORRIFIC splendour sums up Best Model In The World (World, 9.30pm), a programme for which details are hard to come by, perhaps because World is embarrassed by it. This is one for the hard-up. Lots of pouting, academically challenged young women to gawp at, if that kind of thing excites you. PROFESSIONAL wrestler Hulk Hogan stars in Suburban Commando (Pearl, 9.30pm), an engaging little number for the ankle-biters, but not so much for adults. A warrior from outer space heads for earth for some R&R and becomes involved with a stressed-out suburban family. Hogan is surprisingly engaging. Also starring Shelley Duvall and Roy Dotrice. IS Seinfeld (Pearl, 11.45pm) funny? No-one seems entirely sure. Word from the US, where it swept the nation like a bad rash, was that Seinfeld was indeed very funny. But Americans think Roseanne Barr is funny and yet the rest of the world knows she isn't. In The Jacket Jerry Seinfeld (played by Jerry Seinfeld, a convenient bit of casting) is out shopping with Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) when he is persuaded to buy a very expensive jacket. This gives rise to some jokes. SO, Best Model In The World is the television equivalent of a dirty weekend. But Anything For A Laugh (World, 7.30pm) is one, long raspberry. It's cheap, its juvenile, its unashamedly puerile, but for some reason people go on doing it and laughing at it. They made 26 of these programmes. The series is produced by Bob Brooker, a man who has made a mint from cock-ups. He was also behind memorable television moments such as America's Funniest Foul-Ups, Foul-Ups, Bleeps & Blunders, and The World's Funniest Commercial Goofs. In this evening's episode viewers will see a newsman set his pants on fire, a woman buying a headstone for the late husband she hated, and a Michael Jackson lookalike. IN Highlander (World, 8.30pm) the plots get more preposterous and the moralising is as subtle as stale haddock in an elevator. This is one of those programmes that has 'Made In America - On The Cheap' stamped all over it. Adrian Paul is the immortal - one of a gang of them who hail from Scotland - who rights wrongs wherever he goes and makes people see the errors of their ways. He is a latter-day Christ; the Pope with a ponytail.