WHEN Fernando Cortes conquered Mexico some 550 years ago, he brought glory for Spain, gold for the Church and, ultimately, chocolate, jalapeno peppers and turkeys for the stomachs of the world . . .
Mr Cortes also brought back Montezuma's Revenge for bad Mexican food. Since humankind loves pain, bad Mexican restaurants have thrived.
Hong Kong today has four Mexican restaurants - from Casa Mexicana and La Placita to the exquisite Zona Rosa in Lan Kwai Fong. But the grand-daddy of all is Mexican Mess.
Mexican Mess is, legally, not really a restaurant. It's a private club. But you pay $20, sign your name and after an initiation period of 30 seconds, you become a member.
This entitles you - or the official 5,000 paid-up members - to club activities, including history forums, magical pyramid studies and birthday nights.
An L-shaped room with a bar next to the front door, the Mess has two adjoining rooms with dusty windows and dozens of plants. The room has an aura of New Age as well, since Bob Ingles, the founder-manager, has stocked the restaurant with pyramids, crystals and other appurtenances of the underworld.