'IF YOU consider it noble to marry for love, then marry the bore and I offer my very best condolences, er, wishes,' says Ginie Polo Sayles, the world's only 'marrying rich' consultant and author of the best-seller How To Marry The Rich.
'Marriages of rich people have the same conflicts over sex, love and money as marriages of the poor, but at least they take place in more lavish, romantic settings. Only the rich can afford to give you the best experiences.' To prove her point, Sayles refers to former British prime minister Benjamin Disraeli. 'He said, 'I may commit many follies in life, but I'll never marry for love.' Disraeli married a woman for money and position. It was one of the happiest marriages in history.' A self-proclaimed gold-digger, Sayles has offered seminars since 1987 on how to get a rich mate. At US$39 (HK$300) for a three-hour course, or $125 an hour for a private consultation (minimum two hours), she helps American women to stop dreaming about a life of luxury and achieve the life they desire.
But what about love? 'I don't see how you can help loving anyone, to some extent, who is kind and generous,' says Sayles, who married Texas oil millionaire Reed Sayles nine years ago. 'People are appalled when I say that. I'm appalled that they can love someone who's mean and stingy.' In her seductive, west Texas drawl, she purrs: 'Love thins after some years. If you still must have steamy sex, get a lover as long as you have a nice Porsche to ease into after making love and a sweet, gentle rich man to welcome you home.' Like most people who appreciate money, Sayles knows what it's like not to have it. She grew up a 'poor barefoot girl' in a small, dusty town called Big Spring. 'We never went to restaurants and we didn't have a phone or any luxuries,' she remembers of her childhood. 'At school I met a rich girlfriend and realised that the difference between the rich and myself was a gap of experience that only money could buy. I didn't prefer rich boys to poor boys but I deliberately dated rich boys because they held the key to experiences that were out of my reach.' So dating rich boys became her educational system? 'Exactly,' she smiles. 'It was a way for me to become the best that I could.' Unfortunately, at first, she never thought of marrying rich. Believing romance was the thing, she married poor men - twice - before she saw the light and married rich. 'I don't judge a man's value by his money,' she stresses. 'I judge it by his lifestyle.' It was her third husband who suggested she teach a step-by-step plan for meeting and marrying money. 'People who have money are often lost in a relationship,' says Reed, who had three wives before Sayles. 'Rich men need wives who understand money and understand rich people. Ginie helps them to get good mates. As she says, a gold-digger is the only perfect mate for a gold owner. They speak the same language.' In order to land yourself a rich man, says Sayles, you need to change as many things about yourself as you can so you will feel different. 'You need to refine yourself, upgrade yourself, polish yourself,' says the woman who has chapters in her book on posture, grooming and how to behave in posh restaurants and at hosted events. 'Change creates excitement and you can start with your name if it helps you feel special. Hollywood knows that a name has a ring of success. Think of Cary Grant instead of Archibald Leach and Marilyn Monroe instead of Norma Jean Baker.
'Then start working out and change your hair. A woman who attended my first seminar told me a week later, 'I've lost a few pounds, lightened my hair and I've changed my name from Bertha to Gentry, and a man just sent me flowers.'' Sayles laughs triumphantly. 'I try to make the individual's self-esteem stronger. The best way to achieve this is to teach them to flirt with as many men as possible. It's good practice. And the more you flirt,the less rejected you feel if some don't respond.' Sayles, who offers seminars in flirting, is a great believer in chanting 'the opposite sex is wonderful', 'you are wonderful', 'sex is wonderful'. 'If you repeat them often enough,' she promises, 'your life should change in the most beautiful ways.' Before landing a rich man, you need to prepare yourself by haunting the classiest places in town, says Sayles. 'Get used to having your body near the very best money can buy. Go to exclusive shops and try on the most expensive clothes and jewellery. Then test-drive expensive cars. This way you become aware of quality and get comfortable in rich environments.' Sayles suggests fine furniture shops, art galleries, historical mansion tours, estate auctions, sports events and posh bars as excellent places to meet a rich man. Alternatively, join a gym in a wealthy neighbourhood, jog or walk in such an area, preferably wearing bright colours so you will be noticed.
Joining an Alcoholics Anonymous branch in a rich part of town is also a good idea, claims Sayles. 'Some people wonder what prompted non-rich Larry Fortensky to dry out at the Betty Ford Clinic, which caters to the rich and famous. But not me. I offer him my applause for choosing his rehabilitation clinic wisely. He's now married to Elizabeth Taylor, whom he met there.' Every great ambition calls for sacrifice and marrying a rich mate is no different. 'Shipping tycoon Aristotle Onassis once said that if you want to be rich you must live where the rich live - even if it's an attic,' she says. 'You might also have to dump your old friends and parents if they hold you back.' Sayles did just that, she moved out of town without telling her parents in order to start a new life. Then she dated as many rich men as she could, starting with men she wasn't interested in. 'In this way, you stay comfortable and natural for the time when you eventually date someone who does interest you. The more you date, the more comfortable you become with it until it becomes a pattern, a natural part of you.' Sayles doesn't believe in monogamous dating. When you're dating a rich man, she says, you should always try to meet other rich men. 'Your date one night may not be your date next month. Don't be loyal to someone you might never see again.' Even if you're dating fairly regularly, you should use every opportunity to cultivate more rich men. 'Excuse yourself at least once during the evening for the restroom or a phone call. Once you're out of your date's view, flirt with others. Have personal cards to give people and ask for theirs. And follow up.' Sisterhood isn't high on her list of priorities. 'You're not the Red Cross,' states Sayles, who met Reed when he was dating her friend. 'It ended our friendship but all's fair in love and war. You're not responsible for anybody else's relationship. If a woman can't keep her man, then maybe she doesn't deserve him.' Maybe. 'Oh, come on,' she says. 'You're not going to keep them together by not making the move. They will break up anyway. My point is: trash the guilt, don't let it trash you and your love life.' With only half a million rich men in the US, it's good they get recycled, she says. 'My book and courses are not on morals,' she adds, rather superfluously. 'They tell you how to get what you want.' Isn't her family rather shocked by her unscrupulous ways? 'A little at first,' she says. 'My mother wondered what the neighbours might think. But don't ever let parents, friends or children interfere with your love life. Your parents get old and die, friends move away and children grow up and lead their own lives. They never take you into consideration when they decide to marry.' It's a tough world, says Sayles, and it's still hard even after having caught a rich man. Then you must remember that money is an accurate barometer of his feelings for you. 'The person who gives the most, cares the most. To increase your chances of getting large sums of money and exquisite gifts, you need to implant the image that you are to have the best. Ask for what you want, and increase the costs and the frequency of asking. Don't be too easy to please.' Sayles was upset by the hit film Pretty Woman because it started a trend she dislikes. 'Now some rich men let their dates wear beautiful jewellery for a specific occasion and then strip it off as soon as they are back in the car.' She frowns disapprovingly. 'I was very disappointed that Richard Gere would cruelly tantalise an impoverished woman with jewels and then take them away.
'Do not allow him to do such a thing,' she warns her students. 'Tell your rich man that you only wear what you can keep with no strings attached.' Has she never felt bad taking money from a man for whom she feels nothing? 'Why?' she asks, her big blue eyes widening in surprise. 'He'll spend it anyway. I was always a terrific asset to a rich man during the time I spent with him. And if I didn't get the money, someone else would have.' There is, however, one problem to be aware of when you go to such lengths to acquire a rich man: there are a lot of fakes around. To check out if a man is really rich and not just pretending, Sayles suggests that her students ask to be taken to the most expensive restaurant in town and order the most expensive items in every category of the menu. 'If he winces or goes to the restroom or complains about being on a diet, you have your answer.' Sayles also preaches safe sex. 'You don't have to have sex with a man in order to get money. There were some rich men I never went to bed with and still received money and gifts. Money expresses his feelings more than sex does.' But don't rich men try to avoid gold-diggers? 'Only those who haven't found one they want badly enough,' she answers with a smile. 'The idea that 'you get what you pay for' operates in all of them, subconsciously.' What the Wannabes Said Genie Polo Sayles' (right, with her husband, Reed) methods worked for her but do her book, courses and tapes help others? Some of her students talk about their results.