IF you hear the caterwauling sounds of Mick Jagger emanating from the dungeonesque Godown bar and restaurant in the basement of the Furama on Sunday night, don't for one minute be fooled that the Rolling Stones have finally arrived. The source of the noise is more likely to be Irish Australian Owen Kavanagh, comedian, singer and impressionist. Owen has been brought over by Steinlager New Zealand beer brewers to host the return of comedy nights to the venue after a gap of more than six months, caused largely by the move from its old site in Admiralty. Owen uses a lot of religious material in his collection of gags, acerbic comments and idiosyncratic views on life. The evening, which starts at 9pm, is hosted by popular Star presenter John Moorhead. SWEDISH duo Roxette are in town today preparing for a one-off concert at the Queen Elizabeth Stadium tomorrow. Fans may be able to catch a glimpse of Per Gessle and Marie Fredriksson at a press conference to be given at Planet Hollywood tonight. Roxette happen to be the first pop-rock group from the West to play in Beijing since Wham! 10 years ago. They also happen to be the Western band that most Canto-pop singers seem to turn to when they want to do cover versions. Leon Lai, Aaron Kwok, Shirley Kwan and Alan Tam have all had top 10 hits with a Roxette original in the 1990s. No wonder with international sales in excess of 45 million they are Sweden's biggest export since Abba. MORE signs of the times. A friend rang Kennedy Primary School in Pokfulam to inquire about registering his baby for enrolment. The Cantonese lady who took the call discovered the child was just a few months old and asked him to call back in four years. She added that by then 1997 would have passed by. Then she said, rather cryptically, 'We don't know if there will be any changes after 1997,' but refused to elaborate. Can this mean some people fear education is to be abolished when the Chinese resume control? asked our man. HERE's a tip for rookie policemen on the vice beat courtesy of a senior officer: if you spend more than 20 minutes with a prostitute you are seeking to arrest in a suspected brothel, you will be identified as a cop. Our source with plenty of years' experience in this sort of operation says the girls are trained to turn their customers around in 15 minutes, including the taking of a shower.