Wedding banquet etiquette

STAY long enough in Hong Kong and you're bound to get invited to a wedding. But when the joy and congratulations wear off, there is the awesome spectre of doing the wrong thing, or the right thing at the wrong time, or the right thing at the right time but in the wrong place.

Here are some tips. These days, local weddings begin in the morning with various festivities and ceremonies, and culminate in an evening banquet.

This is a huge affair, involving at least 100 guests (mostly family), in a fancy restaurant and lasting for six to seven hours.

The best gift is money; the appropriate amount is $400 to $500 per person, which will cover the cost of the meal. Either you can put cash in a red envelope with your name card or buy a money certificate from any local bank.

While the bride will change four times (at 4 pm; at 8 pm; at the delivery of the shark's fin soup; and at the end), you may wear the same thing all evening. Better to be formal; women should avoid black (too sombre) and white (associated with funerals).

The next critical question is when to arrive. If you simply want to eat, 8 pm is about right. Some guests will show up at 4 pm to play mahjong and poker; the bride and groom arrive around 5 pm. Relatives and those who can't come to the dinner pay their respects - and their red packets - anytime in between.