IF you thought the Tsing Ma Bridge and associated megabucks stuff was just going to be, well, a bridge, then you are dead wrong. It's going to be a Tourist Attraction, we learned yesterday - and very exciting it will be too. Apparently, the Government is thinking of turning the 195-metre towers which hold the bridge platform into panoramic scenic viewing areas. Presumably, there will be a lift. 'The Tsing Ma Bridge will become internationally known as a major Hong Kong landmark and likely to become one of the territory's tourist attractions,' according to a report produced for the Federation of Hong Kong Hotel Owners. There is talk of car parks, souvenir shops and restaurants around the base of the bridge so that those whose desire for food and souvenirs has been stimulated by the fine view of the container port, Tuen Mun etc can empty their pockets. There's also talk of other airport tourist attractions, but unfortunately they haven't been decided yet. Our suggestion for a souvenir for airport tourist attractions is a fluffy British civil servant and a fluffy mainland cadre with Velcro strips carefully positioned so you can stick their hands round each other's throats. Golden shower WHEN the gents over at Dah Sing Bank want someone to join the team, they know what to do: get the cheque book out. Someone joined the board last year and was given a Golden Hello of $5.38 million. It shows up in the annual report as 'inducement fees'. So who was this lucky person? Well, we reckon it could very well have been David Hinde, who was a non-executive director for about eight years until he was given a desk full-time in October. Since no one else joined the board last year the choices are limited and given that David used to run Samuel Montagu and Co it seems he'd fit the bill. If they did really pay David $5.38 million as a Golden Hello, they must be hoping something nasty doesn't happen to him, or that he doesn't suddenly join an unworldly religion which eschews all financial wealth and come to the office dressed only in a loincloth. What insurance can they get for such an asset? Lump stirs CHINA Industrial International Corp, always has been one of the more intriguing companies on the exchange, having sold its logging operations in the Solomon Islands in October 1993, leaving itself with no business but a big pile of cash. Since then it has sat like an inert lump doing nothing except make poor quality share investments, until a few weeks ago when a rescue bid emerged which could bring the company to life. Has it done anything in the last year? Certainly it has. We have it on very good authority that it has spent $2,017,000 on antique Chinese furniture. Stuff UPS A COUPLE of weeks ago we reported on a courier firm which lost a consignment of purple ostrich feathers. Now rivals over at UPS have beaten this feat. The UPS team managed to lose a mould for making golf balls - a mould that weighs 233 kg and which we would normally consider unlosable. John Dalton, president of Golf Technology Far East, had it sent by UPS from the US to a new golfball factory in Taiwan, by overnight delivery. And it duly arrived - 45 overnights later. Given that it didn't work when it arrived and the crate was damaged, it looks as though they dropped it also, which John isn't too pleased about as it is the only piece of the entire production line that is imported. Not only did they lose his mould but they also lost his first letter of complaint for a month. While his $500,000 mould was missing they continued to send him promotional material offering him free UPS umbrellas, service guarantees etc. As if this wasn't bad enough, the letter of apology they sent from UPS headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky, to Tsim Sha Tsui, took eight days to get to its destination - via UPS of course. We hesitated to ask John what he'd do with his free UPS umbrella if he got one, but we'd hate to be the UPS employee who gave it to him.