AFTER 17 years of wedlock Barbara Rose (Kathleen Turner) can no longer stand her husband, which is understandable because he is Michael Douglas, the man with a keenness for exposing his rear end, although he does not do so in War Of The Roses (World, 9.35pm). He still loves her, but when he realises she is about to walk, he decides he loves their big, beautiful antique-filled home even more. Stuck, for legal reasons, in the house together while they get their divorce sorted out, tension between the Roses escalates until it erupts into a full-scale, no-holds barred war from which not even the cat is immune. The War Of The Roses, directed with a fiendish gusto by Danny DeVito, who also plays the divorce lawyer who recounts the cautionary tale, is horrific and sometimes, though not often, hilarious. Turner and Douglas, who played opposite each other in Romancing The Stone and Jewel Of The Nile, once again proved themselves in this the quintessential anti-romantic screen couple for the anti-romantic 80s. DIRECTOR Richard Franklin made Psycho II (Pearl, 1.10am) with his tongue in his cheek, but without a brain in his head. It is a reasonably inventive sequel to the classic Hitchcock slasher film, but depends too heavily on gore. Vera Miles is back as the sister of the girl who was butchered in the shower in the original. And Anthony Perkins returns as Norman Bates, who has done his time - 22 years - in the loony bin and has now been released, just as the murders begin again. IF you look quickly you might spot Robert Loggia in Psycho II. He is also in Opportunity Knocks (Pearl, 9.30pm), an innocuous comedy designed as a showcase for Saturday Night Live comedian Dana Carvey, who later hit the big time in Wayne's World. Carvey is a con artist who assumes someone else's identity and falls into a plumb job with a bathroom fixture tycoon, who happens to have a cute daughter. ONLY the British could make an interesting nature documentary out of plastic bags, bananas and an eccentric woman who dresses up as a parrot to sing in schools. All this and more in this evening's episode of Living Dangerously (Pearl, 8.30pm), which is called Pretty Polly And The Ancient Mariner. In Eyewitness (Pearl, 9.00pm) the questions being posed include how do birds fly, why do they have feathers, and why do we have cuckoo clocks? Mushroom Magic (Pearl, 7.15pm) is another one from Britain and claims to be a simple guide to fungi, including the kind that make you feel good. WITH daughters like hers, Mary Peach must be glad she is a widower without a husband to make life even worse. In Mothers And Daughters (STAR Plus, 2.00am) Ms Peach is just coming to terms with life on her own - even beginning to enjoy it - when her offspring run up the doorstep, each carrying a large bucketful of woe. Films on Cable Movie Channel: Sibling Rivalry (7.00pm). There are moments when this will make you laugh. Kirstie Alley goes some way towards proving what a great comic she can be when handed the right material, as she often was in Cheers. Enjoy also a brief but enigmatic performance by Sam Elliott as the tall stranger who expires on Ms Alley during some rather boisterous physical exertion. The plot, should you be interested, is a comedy of errors which is set in motion when Alley, a frustrated housewife, is goaded by her freewheeling sister into having an affair. The World According To Garp (3.00am). Engaging but sometimes uneasy adaptation of John Irving's cerebral novel, with Robin Williams as the unconventional young man who grows up with a determination to become a writer. Big name cast includes Jessica Tandy and Glenn Close, in her feature film debut. Look sharpish for John Lithgow as a transsexual and author Irving in a cameo as a wrestling referee.