JUSTICE takes many forms in Asia. A couple of weeks ago in Colombo, Sri Lanka, it was meted out to Tyronne Wijesinghe. As you read this, Tyronne is completing a two week jail sentence, including hard labour. His offence: chewing gum in a courtroom.
This is not a 'Free Tyronne Wijesinghe' column. If anything, this is a 'Tyronne Wijesinghe got off lucky' column. Chewing gum, according to magistrate Priyantha Fernando, constitutes contempt of court.
To be fair, the man in question was fined 500 rupees for the above offence, and he was unable to pay the fine. But the judge stuck to the letter of the law, and tossed him in the clink.
Contempt of court? Chewing gum? Absolutely. Now that smokers have been beaten into a corner where they cower, petrified of lighting up, chewing gum is about the most contemptible habit around. Before it was just the Singapore government and me against the world. Now Colombo, or at least magistrate Fernando, joins our crusade. Can the rest of Asia be far behind? Regrettably yes, but it's good to trumpet an occasional victory nonetheless.
Some years ago Singapore's ban on the sale of chewing gum was greeted with derision from the foreign press. To many the law was emblematic of all that was wrong with Singapore: it was authoritarian, fussy, invasive, and patronising. Curiously, those who carped endlessly about the annoying aspects of Singapore's civil code seemed to have little time left to consider the annoying aspects of chewing gum. We do so now.
First of all, and most vile, is that one cannot ever, ever, look intelligent while chewing gum. To introduce gum into the mouth is to plummet about 35 IQ points immediately. Hired thugs chew gum. UN delegates do not. Petrol station attendants chew gum. Oil tycoons do not.
