YOU do not need me to tell you that Police Academy 5 (Pearl, 9.30pm), the sequel even Steve Guttenberg would not appear in, is a bit of a waste of space. And to think there was still one more to come, Police Academy 6. The original Police Academy, released in 1984, was not perfect. Attempts to improve on it became increasingly embarrassing, but the producers persevered. All of the films contain the obligatory quota of tastelessness and sexism. There are no plots; just a series of set pieces and pea-brained gags linked by some amateurish performances. Three of the original stars who made it as far as number five are George Gaynes (the police chief), Bubba Smith and Michael Winslow, the fellow who does the sound effects. Or try Charade (World, 9.35pm), which has got to be alright because it stars Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. Grant was pushing 60 when this was filmed, but disguises the fact by taking a shower fully-clothed. Charade is a load of sub-Hitchcockian nonsense, but charming and entertaining, with a lot to offer beyond the plot. Hepburn's romance with the suave Grant is delightfully-handled, the location photography, in Paris, is exquisite and the rooftop fight scene between Grant and George Kennedy is as good a piece of drama as you will find in a film not directed by Hitchcock himself. Hepburn is Regina 'Reggie' Lambert, a woman of means, who returns from a ski trip to find her Paris home ransacked and her husband dead. His funeral is attended by three curious thugs - played by James Coburn, George Kennedy and Ned Glass - each of whom prods and pokes, just to make sure that the corpse is indeed a corpse. CIA man Walter Matthau confuses things by telling Reggie her husband was part of a gang which, during World War II, stole and stashed away US$250,000. Grant confuses things further by offering his assistance. All Charade seeks to do is provide some innocent merriment and take a pot of money. It is a stylish diversion, with Ms Hepburn effortlessly radiant, but about as sinister as a kitten. THE Cast of old pros and familiar faces makes Rented Lips (World, 1.05am) better than it deserves to be. Among them are Robert Downey Jr and Jennifer Tilley (sister of Meg). Robert's father, Robert Downey Sr, directed and Martin Mull wrote and produced. Rented Lips is a comedy, in places, about a pair of hapless education film-makers (with films such as Aluminium: Your Shiny Friend ) to their credit) who fall in with a porno film crew. Pierce Brosnan stars in Mister Johnson (Pearl, 1am), a deft little number based on the book of the same name by William Boyd about human fallibility and colonial attitudes. It desperately wants to be an important film and never quite makes it, but is still affecting. STAR Plus has its usual mixed bag, some of it old and tired. And Mother Makes Three (8.30pm) was barely funny when it was first shown in Britain in the 1970s, a decade of sitcoms consisting almost exclusively of jokes about sexual innuendo. Sally (Wendy Craig) is secretly negotiating to buy a portable sauna. If you are not British, it will help you to know that in Britain all things Swedish, except Volvo cars, have sexual overtones. Every time a Brit hears the word 'sauna' or 'Swedish au pair', riotous laughter is guaranteed. Proud Men (STAR Plus, 2am) features two good performances, from Charlton Heston and Peter Strauss, but neither makes up for the pedestrian script. Strauss is a Vietnam deserter who is determined to prove to everyone, especially his father, that he ain't no chicken. FILMS on Cable Movie Channel: Criminal Behaviour (7pm). Sweaty and above average thriller from 1992 sees tough criminal lawyer Farrah Fawcett pursued by a killer. Adapted from Ross MacDonald's detective novel The Ferguson Affair.