STELLA CHIU SZE-TAK of St Stephen's College, Stanley, recalls an unhappy Primary One memory that will not go away LOOKING back on my past, I find that most of my memories have faded. However, one incident in my childhood stands out very clearly. It happened when I was in Primary One. I was a typically innocent child, like everyone then. Nothing to worry about, just spending all my energy playing with friends and joining interesting clubs. One day the teacher in charge of the computer club asked us if we would like to have a paper-file with the club logo printed on it to put our notes in. They cost $3 each. I wanted to have one because it was unique, and not for sale in the stores. It would make me feel special. To tell the truth, I was not rich, or rather my father was not rich then. So mummy was always careful with money and tried to save on even the smallest things. She immediately objected to my idea and brought over an old file she had found in the flat. I remembered that endless argument we had in the corridor, outside the 1B classroom. I was frustrated and embarrassed. I have already mentioned that I was childish at that time, and perhaps a bit selfish. I wanted this and I wanted that without thinking about my mother's difficulties. I felt I had to show my anger or she would never understand how I felt to be disapproved of by the rest of the class. So I snatched the 'old' file from her hands and threw it on the floor with all my strength. Mum then opened her handbag and took out $3. Was my act correct? If it was, then why did I feel something strange in my heart? Why wasn't I at all happy? I had my $3, but I knew I had also cut a deep wound in mama's heart. If time can be restored, I would rather use the old file and shut up. Even now, whenever I recall the incident, tears fill my eyes. I cannot bear that feeling of guilt at hurting my dearest mama. What I did was unforgivable. All teenagers in the world will agree that their parents will love them - whatever wrong they may do. THE views expressed in this article are those of the writer's and do not necessarily reflect those of Young Post Are you a prolific writer with lots of opinions you would like to share with others? If you are interested in writing for Teen Talk, send in a sample of your writing to: Teen Talk, Young Post, GPO Box 323, Tai Po, New Territories, or fax us on 2660 5378.