IF you're going to be impolite about people you might as well be impolite about them all. The only disappointment about Nury Vittachi's book is that there isn't a chapter on journalists. Have you heard the one about the short, balding bloke who wrote more books in three years than Agatha Christie did in a lifetime? Expatriates are ridiculed and deserve to be, with all their absurd pretensions and pomposities. It would be unfair to reveal too many of the mostly excellent jokes in this collection, but here's one to whet your appetite: What do British male expatriates use as contraceptives? Their personality. And my favourite: A newly-arrived American enters the Hong Kong Club at the height of summer and says to the barman: 'Gimme something tall, cold and full of gin.' 'Certainly sir,' says the barman, and leads him to where the British members hang out. The Hong Kong Joke Book is grist for the Vittachi mill. The South China Morning Post columnist has been making his living this way ever since he arrived in Hong Kong, realised what a strange place it was, and decided to stay. No one is immune, and nor should they be. There are jokes about office life, scenes from a doctor's surgery and jokes about the territory's social whirl. Did you hear about the tai tai who had an accident at the Hongkong Bank? She got in the wrong queue and made a deposit. This is a book of ugly stereotypes, which is half the fun. Expatriates are lazy drunks whose idea of a balanced diet is a Carlsberg in each hand, local businessmen are thugs in shiny suits and tai tais are brainless bimbos who would rather move house than struggle with the complexities of finding someone to change a light bulb (finding someone, note - there is not a chance that any tai tai would consider changing it herself). Stereotypes such as these do not go down well with the politically correct but there is nothing politically correct about The Hong Kong Joke Book. Another good reason to read it is the fact that any money the book makes will go to orphans in Guangxi province. Not all the jokes are Vittachi originals. Writers John Maxwell, Ron Knowles and Paul Harrington have added a few. The Wan Chai Song, sung to the tune of Downtown, shows that Harrington - a stand-up comic in his spare time - is too talented to be a journalist.