CIVIL service leaders attending this week's informal ice-breaking meeting with Chinese officials at the Jockey Club must have been desperate to get to the karaoke machines, following Martin Lee Chu-ming's useful advice on how to avoid saying anything which might get them into hot water. After Chief Justice Sir Ti Liang Yang's recent experience with unguarded remarks, Mr Lee told senior civil servants to try and think of something harmless - and sing it. His offering for the occasion: 'Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you.' That was clearly what the Preliminary Working Committee (PWC) were up to last week in their last sing-song with Hong Kong and Macau Affairs Office director Lu Ping. Nellie Fong Wong Kut-man said they were singing for the motherland. Suitable songs for the occasion? How about Sting's 'every breath you take, every step you make, I'll be watching you'. Oh, and this being the season of goodwill and all that Santa Claus is Coming to Town. You know the lines we mean? That's right: 'He's making a list, checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty [subtext: who's a member of the Democratic Party] and nice [subtext: who's a do as Beijing has 'kommanded' (DABHK) member].' How about some more seasonal songs? It will not be long now before we get to hear which of the old PWC crooners will be riding the through-train to the new all-singing, all-dancing Preparatory Committee. Your turn to be creative, readers. Phone or fax in your welcoming carols, please. The best get published next week - just in time for Christmas. FINANCIAL Secretary Donald Tsang Yam-kuen may be the only man who can lay down the law to China and get away with it, but he still cannot do without his fung shui man. That is one reason why the Tsang family is still ensconced in its oh-so-inferior home on the Peak instead of moving into the official residence on Shouson Hill. You see, it is not just the mudslide from Typhoon Kent that spoiled the view from the back porch which has kept the removal men at bay. No, Mr Tsang does not want the easy garden-greening option of clearing the mud and restoring the grass to its former glory the simple way. He is having the whole place landscaped like the new Kowloon City Gardens (using left-over stones, at no extra cost to the taxpayer). Meanwhile, the fung shui expert has told him he has got to have a kidney-shaped pond built to prevent further evil befalling his back yard. Fung shui is now all the rage among our ruling elite. Next week: how the Governor keeps a cross over his bed to ward off vampires. THE departure of Senior Assistant Commissioner (Operations) Toby Emmet - one of the two top-ranked police expatriates - came as a minor shock to a force looking for leadership and commitment at the top. Mr Emmet, 51, had already put a few noses out of joint earlier this year when he declared himself 'uncertain' about his future intentions when asked as part of the force's manpower planning review. However, what may finally have sealed his decision to quit was his exclusion from the infamous police Mark Six lottery victory - in which 12 officers in his headquarters wing combined to secure $38 million collectively, having failed to include their superior in the syndicate. Insiders say he took it personally when informed that everyone else in the wing had just fattened their wallets with a $3 million-plus windfall. LAST week we reported how elderly Scottish widower Vic Webb had written to Emily Lau asking her to publicise his search for a young Chinese wife. Little did we realise that we were already too late. Ladies, do not go besieging your Legislative Council matchmaker with offers and requests for the gentleman's address. Apparently when our colleagues at Next magazine published the letter (without mentioning Vic's 73 years), he was flooded with replies and promised to come to Hong Kong to make his choice. Unfortunately, when a translator was called in to read the Next article to him, she suggested that a friend of hers from the mainland would fit the bill perfectly. So now the said mainlander is making the trip to Scotland to meet him, and Vic has cancelled his visit. Sorry, girls.