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Topless bar that can't attract men

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WHAT a shy lot you Hong Kong men are. There have been virtually no applicants for the job of topless male waiters for ladies' nights on Wednesdays at Carnegies, the pub in Wan Chai.

Manager Karl Buller thought he had solved the problem when he heard about the rent-a-marine service offered by the British troops in the territory - but even they backed out at the last moment.

Want a war fought? No problem. Reveal our nipples in public? Oo-er, no way.

Don't any Hong Kong men have pecs or abs or whatever you call those lumpy bits? On the subject of toplessness in Hong Kong, or the lack of, why has ATV suspended staff members after a brief item about topless sports was broadcast in the channel's news bulletin? Surely they should be feted and awarded bonuses for giving the station the best potential ratings boost it has had for years? ATV should use the incident to re-launch the news department. They could rename the show News and Views and boast about their 'two-pronged news strategy'.

And before the Television and Entertainment Licensing Authority gives its usual knee-jerk condemnation of the incident, would officials please consider one thing? Only 35 people complained out of a population of 6.2 million. Give me 10 minutes and I could find you far more than 35 people who would argue there is absolutely nothing wrong with an intelligent illustrated news report about human foibles.

WHAT'S the matter with the Cheung family, illegal immigrants in Britain who are fighting deportation to Hong Kong? Don't they like the idea of living in a place with high employment, low tax and almost no Tories? SANDRA Byatt of Sha Tin tells me she had relatives staying at the Metropole Hotel on Waterloo Road, where the menu featured 'broiled salmon leg'.

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