WANTED: Smoker. Nicotine-addicts, do you feel unwanted, rejected? Well, we want you. Anti-smoking guru Allen Carr, who arrives in the territory on March 1, has asked me to find Hong Kong's heaviest smoker - so he can cure him free of charge.
Former accountant Mr Carr, who runs addiction-breaking courses in London, claims to have cured tens of thousands of former smokers.
There's reckoned to be about 200,000 tobacco fiends in Hong Kong. So far, we have located a four-pack-a-day man. This must be close to the maximum, because it works out one every 12 minutes in a 16-hour day. I heard stories about a Hong Kong chap involved with the Carrian lawsuit who became a six-pack-a-day man through stress. Further inquiries revealed that he died last year (surprise, surprise).
This is not a contest (we don't want 13-year-olds smoking themselves silly to win) but a search for some benighted soul who has already got himself hooked beyond redemption. Mr Carr normally charges $2,000.
A good candidate might be Legislative Council president Andrew Wong Wang-fat, whose smoke production is allegedly neck-and-neck with the three chimneys of the Lamma power station. Two years ago, Governor Chris Patten 'localised' his seat as president of Legco, and Mr Wong now fills the chair. This has proved problematic, since Mr Wong can no longer nip out for a quick drag. Memo to Allen Carr: if you can cure Mr Wong, the only bigger challenge left, Mount Pinatubo.
A DEBT collection company in Hong Kong called Asia International Information Service is sending out faxes, the headline of which promises that they will 'clear bad debts with affection'. Copies of the letter were sent in by Jennifer Crow and several other readers. One wonders what sort of persuasive techniques they use? 'Pay up and I'll give you a hug.' WOMEN in Hong Kong are rushing out to buy a hugely expensive new Clinique skin cream called Moisture On-Call. I have one of those at home. It's called a tap.