A HONG KONG woman wrote to officials at Kai Tak airport with some bad news last week: 'Terribly sorry, chaps, but I now own the airport.' The entire grounds upon which the airport operates, including the runway, had been left to her by her late father in his will, she explained. At first, civil aviation executives thought this was a joke. But when they saw all the legal arguments included in the letter, they decided they had better investigate. So they replied politely, and she has given them permission to keep flying aircraft on and off her piece of turf until a study of the original deeds has been done. One executive said: 'I would have been a bit worried if her name had been Kai or Tak, but fortunately it was Choi.' The original owners of the land, a Mr Kai and a Mr Tak, were businessmen who went bankrupt. In 1989, businessmen turned up at the airport in Manila, and demanded they be allowed to redevelop it. When officials rejected them, the men pulled out deeds showing that they had bought the airport from middlemen. The deeds turned out to be false. The middlemen fled with the money. But if Kai Tak suddenly changes its name to Ms Choi Ming-ming Airport, you'll know she was right. WHILE browsing through Bookazine in the basement of Jardine House, a friend of mine came across the novel How To Make An American Quilt (the film version of this warm and fuzzy story was on in Hong Kong recently). It was in the section headed 'Interior Design and Crafts'. WHAT'S your impression of dockyard workers? Tough, sweaty seamen, heaving boxes about and singing, 'Hey ho and up she rises'? That's what I thought. But groups of guests were invited to the Modern Terminals facility at Kwai Chung on Monday to see the Regina Maersk, the world's largest container ship, on its maiden berthing in Hong Kong. Each dignitary was given a pair of white gloves, so they would not soil the ship by touching it. Not like the old days, when a ship was considered clean if the rum, blood and whale blubber was only ankle deep. THE neat profit jump reported in yesterday's newspapers by Cathay Pacific Airways is going to continue. I foresee a surge in passenger loyalty following the airline's decision to introduce in-flight espresso and cappuccino machines. JET Air International is the latest company in the territory to make a bid to get listed on the Stock Exchange of Hong Kong. Its prospectus, copies of which are now sitting in piles on the floor of Hongkong Bank, is filled with hyper-optimistic stuff about China's booming economy, confidence in inter-Asian trade, and so on. No one is entitled to be cynical about this firm's confidence, simply because the chairman's wife has an American passport and the chairman has a passport from the Dominican Republic. There are probably lots of natives of the Dominican Republic called Peter Yu Kam-ching. SEEN at the Clearwater Bay Golf Club yesterday afternoon: Grand Prix champ Damon Hill doing a 'photo op' at the club for Rothman's, his sponsors. Flanked by agents, press, and a film camera crew, he teed off at the driving range. After a few strokes, it was obvious he was seriously 'off his stroke', with the ball veering wildly off course. Seeing the humour in this, Mr Hill turned around to the Rothmans suits and quipped: 'How much will Rothmans fork out for instruction?' Nobody laughed. They all looked deflated. The silence was broken only by a cameraman noisily emitting some, er, internal gases. It was a Kodak moment. NOW here's a brave man. As Chinese missiles rain down around Taiwan, tycoon Kander Lee wants to grab power there on a pro-Beijing ticket. Mr Lee, 40, also known as Lee Chi-jen, propounded his views at the Foreign Correspondents Club of Hong Kong on Monday. Someone asked him how he could be pro-China when the Chinese were organising war games over his country. 'The missiles are not aimed at the people of Taiwan,' he said. 'They are aimed at the president.' Judging by their record with satellites, I wonder if you can expect them to be that accurate. A RUGBY fan faxed me an internal price list from the Holiday Inn Golden Mile, which is catering to the Rugby Sevens. The document is supposed to say: 'Chit Prices 'Prices for Patron's orders on Chit 'Prices for items ordered on chit system.' Unfortunately, whoever wrote it thinks the word 'chit' begins with an 's'.