NAME: The Spitter.
OR: China's ultimate secret weapon. Deadlier than a Scud, more accurate than a smart missile, the Spitter has the capacity to create chaos with just one rumbling hawk and swift emission.
BRIEF HISTORY: The Spitter goes back a long way. Chinese historians recently unearthed scrolls which suggest the Spitter even had his own dynasty (the P'tooo). They even claim the Western tale of David and Goliath was actually adapted from a Chinese legend in which the big fellow was dropped by one smartly aimed greenie and not a pebble.
ANATOMY OF A HONG KONG SPITTER: Due to the annoying Western habit of meddling in countries' internal affairs, the Hong Kong hawker is an endangered species. Confronted by 'No spitting' signs wherever he goes, he has had to go underground like a surreptitious smoker. Stairwells and dark alleys glisten with pools of his produce, an empty street invites massive gobbing sessions. He prays for the day he gets the slightest cough or cold because it represents an open licence to hawk where and when he wants.
There are still a few proud old men who will noisily evacuate their cavities on a crowded street but they are a dying breed.
DIET: About 100 cigarettes a day - the perfect fuel for the serious Spitter.
AMBITION: To one day be mistaken for a cappuccino-making machine.
