Learning to teach kids about sex
You are watching television with your teenaged children and, without warning, a sex scene appears on the screen. Would you change to another channel, stay quiet and ignore it or explain to the children what is going on? Faced with this situation recently, Szeto Leung Yuk-ying, the mother of three daughters, laughed nervously before turning the set off. 'It happened when my family and other relatives went to a karaoke lounge. When it came to my turn to sing, I picked the song Olive Tree,' the 37-year-old recalls.
What followed not only stunned the children but also the adults. The music video turned out to contain scenes of a naked couple having sex. 'It was really Category III,' recalls Mrs Szeto, whose oldest daughter is 13. 'I was more shocked than embarrassed.' Another parent, Chiu Ko Mei-yuk, says whenever there is a 'bed scene' showing on television - even if it is just kissing - the family will fall silent. 'But what can I say? Love scenes in movies are often so exaggerated that they look almost abnormal,' says Mrs Chiu who has a 14-year-old daughter.
'If I want to teach my daughter about sex, and I do talk about these matters with my child, movie sex scenes are hardly the material I would use.' In the past, 'sex' was a taboo word in Chinese families. But both Mrs Szeto and Mrs Chiu say being embarrassed is not an issue. On the contrary, they are open to the idea of discussing sex with their children but only with the proper educational material.
That parents do have a more important role in their children's sex education than is generally believed has been shown in a recent survey, Attitude and Behaviour Towards Sex Among Youth: The Role of the Family, conducted by the Boys' and Girls' Clubs Association.
Over 4,000 students from 18 secondary schools and 2,847 parents were interviewed for the survey. The findings show both generations believe that the mass media and peer groups have the greatest influence on a child's outlook on sex and their sexual behaviour. But it also highlights the apparent correlation between the attitude of parents and their children towards sex.
'Having analysed the collected data, it was discovered that if the parents are conservative in their attitude towards sex, then their children are likely to be conservative too,' it says.