The Hong Kong Government has got tough with the noisy Cheung Kong contractors erecting the Chinese Ministry in Macdonnell Road. An observation post has been set up on top of 98 Macdonnell Road, the residential block suffering most from the din. A police officer has been assigned to watch the building site every Sunday and public holiday. The police have told residents that if any builder operates a machine during illegal hours, they will prosecute - no more warnings. On November 1, the new Noise Control Ordinance comes into effect, making hammering on Sundays a criminal offence. Resident Paul Zimmerman, who was yesterday rejoicing at the latest move, noted that if the Cheung Kong contractors were desperate to finish, there were other options. 'They could work through the one-hour lunch break and the half-hour tea break they enjoy in total quiet every weekday, and would gain 450 hours before the handover.' Still on the topic of the establishment and the law, the ICAC does not like journalists identifying suspects in advance of court cases. But there are no restrictions on discussing laws the commission uses against people. A law now being dusted off for use is one that prohibits: 'Accepting the provision of free sexual service without the general or special permission of the Governor.' Did you realise this was within Mr Patten's gift? No doubt hundreds of chaps in Mongkok should really be phoning the Governor every night (difficult at the moment since he is on holiday in France) to get the official thumbs up. 'Hello, is the Governor there? I fancy a bit of nookie and need the gubernatorial green light.' Well, what about that Australian student Ren Peng, then? An acquaintance called Sun deposited A$22 million (about HK$133.76 million) in his bank account. Ren, who had worked as a kitchen hand, testified in court that it never crossed his mind to question the source of the funds. One can imagine the conversation. Sun: I've just deposited the equivalent of 338 years of a kitchen worker's salary in your account. Ren: I have a question. Sun: Naturally. Ren: Do you think the Dockers will beat Geelong at Aussie Rules tonight? Citibank in Hong Kong has a new scheme to reduce the length of time it takes you to own your own apartment: 'You can comfortably pay your whole salary and any extra earnings directly into your home loan each month. In this way, every cent you earn works to reduce the principal of your loan, the interest you pay, and, ultimately, the time it takes to own your home - all for no additional cost.' Perfect for people who can go without eating for 25 years. It has been pointed out before in this column that Park'N Shop has a horribly ungrammatical name, with three mistakes in two words. Now Hutchison group has opened a supermarket in Whampoa Garden called Park'N Superstore, which adds another error. The 'Shop' in Park'N Shop is a verb: I shop, you shop, we are shopping, they shopped. Superstore is a noun. Super-builder Li Ka-shing is probably the only person who could go around saying: 'I superstore, you superstore, we are superstoring.' One of the assistant producers commissioned to cover the Olympics by ATV is a gentleman whose surname is So. He wanted a classy Christian name so he decided on Picas. Picas So. Get it? Passengers often moan that there is not enough time to get off or on the MTR at the Quarry Bay interchange during the morning rush hour before the doors are shut. So on Friday last week, platform assistants stepped into the trains to heave people off. One assistant was too slow. She and two passengers watched aghast as the doors slammed in front of them and the train whizzed them off to Tai Koo. Dan Wong noted yesterday that Britain had finally won a gold medal in the Olympics, for rowing. 'They're finally catching up with Cheung Chau,' he said, referring to the fact that gold medallist San San is from the island. Certain pro-Beijing types were not overly thrilled at her Olympic win, I hear. A gold this year, you see, is technically, an Imperialist Running Dog British-Controlled gold medal. Had it happened at the next Olympics, it would have been fine. Thought for the day: A born-in-Hong Kong reader said that San-San's win in the windsurfing event makes one thing clear. 'Hong Kong people are pretty good at determining which way the wind blows.'
