There was only one thing left to do for the young man after his girlfriend jilted him. Desperate to prove his love, he decided to commit suicide, said the Hong Kong Daily News. He left behind a brief note. 'I am dying,' it said. 'Please inform my girlfriend.' Then he climbed to the top of an eight-storey building and jumped - only to land on a second-floor awning, bounce into the air, and land still alive on the ground. He was seriously hurt but wounded even further by the fact his ex-girlfriend was decidedly unimpressed and still refused to see him. hard to swallow IF you thought that hair in your soup was bad news, spare a thought for a man who fancied a hot milky nighttime drink to help him to sleep and opened a sealed tin of Ovaltine. He was just about to dip in when he saw a tail sticking up, the Hong Kong Daily News reported. As he brushed aside the drink powder, he slowly revealed the two-inch long well-preserved corpse of a dried lizard. jail bait A 57-year-old homeless man stole a bicycle from outside a newspaper kiosk while its owner was having an afternoon nap. But he didn't exactly make a quick getaway, according to the Hong Kong Daily News. Instead, he walked slowly along the road and, sure enough, the owner chased him and he was arrested. No one could believe his delight at being thrown into jail - especially when he'd only been out of it for three days. With no job, no family and no place to stay, the man, starved and exhausted, had come up with the idea of getting back to where life was safe - his comfortable prison cell. olympic effort The race is on. In the lead is Security Secretary Peter Lai Hing-ling, striding into the Government House offices well ahead of his colleagues, according to Eastweek magazine's unofficial survey. The first official of his grade to arrive at work each morning - he makes it in for 8.10 am - he gets to work fifty minutes earlier than the official start time. Right on his heels, it's Financial Secretary Donald Tsang Yam-kuen, crossing the finishing line a mere two minutes behind him. Making do with joint third place are Economic Services Secretary Gordon Siu Kwing-chue and Civil Service Secretary Lam Woon-kwong, coming in three minutes after Mr Tsang. Almost all the top officials were in by 9 am - though Health and Welfare Secretary Katherine Fok Lo Shiu-ching crawled in with just five minutes to spare. dead cert A 73-year-old man was onto a winner. Before him lay what he knew to be the winning mahjong tablet. It was an exhilarating moment. His hand reached out shakily. His heart raced . . . and raced as the player before him snatched the tablet and victory, said the Oriental Daily. His last-minute defeat proved too much for the elderly man. He slumped across the game, victim of a massive heart attack and was rushed to hospital. A few hours later, he was certified dead. A bit rich A Shatin bank teller made a little slip-up over one digit - and, mistook a pile of 10,000 yen notes for 1,000 yen, giving an extra 180,000 yen (HK$13,000) to a customer. The lucky man, helping his girlfriend to buy yen for a Japanese trip, didn't realise he'd been given the extra cash. By the time the bank had frantically tracked him down, his girlfriend had left the territory, said the Hong Kong Daily News. There was an anxious two-week wait until she returned and handed back the windfall.