Have you tried paging anyone recently at the Foreign Correspondents' Club? They have given up sending a waiter round with a little bell and a board with the name of the person you are trying to get hold of on it. Instead, they have gone back to getting someone at the bar to yell incomprehensibly over the tannoy while you wait on line and listen to music. A member of the FCC board tried this the other night. He was not sure the new tape, supplied by club manager Bob Sanders, was quite appropriate. The music was fine. It was the libretto that was a bit worrying. 'Suicide is painless,' sang the disembodied voice. 'It brings on many changes.' The following are not from the FCC repertoire: 'Is it not simpler to leap the stream than to pause on each stepping stone?' 'The expectation of departure should not be hindered by the ignominy of waiting.' Extracts from an ancient book of wisdom? Burblings from a late-night drinker? No, these pointers to a fuller life come from French footballer Eric Cantona. The Manchester United star's words of wisdom are being used in an advertising campaign for the London-to-Paris train under the English Channel. If you are planning to use the route next trip to London or Paris, just remember this Cantonaism: 'Every man has his hour, it is for him to decide which one.' One of the transport unions recently wrote to the Preparatory Committee with the suggestion that all its members should celebrate the handover by sounding their car horns for 10 seconds on the stroke of midnight on June 30, 1997. The police responded in duly patriotic fashion. Anyone who sounded their horn without any reason, they warned, would be prosecuted. Visitors to Harrods in London may have noticed the store has started charging GBP1 (HK$12) for a visit to its toilets. One American customer objected. He and his wife had left a lot of money in Harrods' tills. He did not see why they had to pay to spend a penny. The store's management were sympathetic. So now Harrods will waive the fee if you can produce receipts showing you have spent GBP100 in the shop. Just imagine the dilemma. There you are with goods worth GBP99 and you want to use the toilet; does Harrods sell anything for a pound? Meanwhile just up the road at Harvey Nichols, London's other top store, owner Dickson Poon must be in for a knighthood at least. The Hong Kong tycoon's electronic swipe machines twice refused to accept Princess Diana's store card, forcing her to dip into her handbag for GBP24 in cash. The store's spokesman said the whole incident was 'very embarrassing', since Her ex-Royal ex-Highness was 'one of our favourite customers'. But her ex-Husband, Charles, must be delighted. Apparently, he has written to 40 of her favourite shops warning he will no longer be paying her bills.