THE films are disappointing, the detective series is dire and the sitcoms dismal. That leaves the news, one wildlife documentary and one current affairs show to keep viewers occupied all evening. Doncha love Tuesdays? THE documentary is Kali the Lion (World 8.30pm), and even this will not please those of faint heart or stomach. It follows the fortunes over a year of Kali and her pride as they live through the times of fat and lean on Kenya's Masai Mara. Simon King's cameras get closer than most to the pride as they struggle to find suitable food after the wildebeest have migrated. The struggle becomes more brutal as it becomes more desperate. AND the current affairs show is that old reliable Eye on Hongkong (Pearl 7.35pm). This week, Sue Brooks pays a visit to the Children's Cancer Foundation and talks to a boy who has recovered from the disease. Pearl is raising money for the cancer charity in its Be My Valentine campaign. Still in the Valentine vein, Kai-bong and Brenda Chau are one of four couples wheeled out yet again to give their views on love - can't wait. Gloria Wu's interview with two members of ageing rock band Chicago, who played a concert in Hongkong last week, is likely to be rather more riveting. The show is presented this week by Wu and Oliver Tan. THE Rachel Papers (Pearl 9.45pm, Original Running Time 95 mins) tries hard but fails to live up to the acerbic Martin Amis novel on which it is based. A lot of the blame must fall on the young shoulders of Dexter Fletcher who, as love-lorn Charles Highway, is required to make numerous asides direct to camera. It worked well in the book, but Fletcher cannot quite pull it off. Highway is a young Englishman who relentlessly pursues American girl Rachel (Ione Skye) and keeps a file on her in his computer. He is helped in his pursuit by his loutish brother-in-law, played by Jonathan Pryce (Jumpin' Jack Flash) and hindered by Rachel's boyfriend (James Spader of Sex, Lies and Videotape fame). The film has its moments - just not quite enough of them. DIFFICULT to imagine Michael Keaton (Beetlejuice, Batman) in an absolute bomb, but the evidence is there for all to see in The Squeeze (World 9.30pm, ORT 101 mins). Keaton plays a conman whose ambition in life is to win the lotto. Enter Rachel Dobs (Rae Dawn Chong) a private detective, with summons for unpaid alimony from his ex-wife. For reasons too uninteresting to put down here, they become involved in murder, mayhem and - guess what? - each other. STREET NOISE (STAR Plus 5.30pm) is a new ''infotainment'' show for teenagers, which promises to exclude all others by ''baffling young kids and confusing parents''. This pilot show looks at Attitude Fashion and AIDS from a teen perspective, and asks whether or not to have a tattoo. IN 20/20 (Pearl 8.05pm), Tom Jarriel reports on a US$2 billion government scheme to stop drugs being flown into the US from Mexico, and asks if it's worth it. Carole Simpson talks to a 50-year-old grandfather who turned thief and became known as the Gentleman Bandit.