Once upon a time there was a Hong Kong engineer who spent time in various educational establishments, including the University of Sheffield in Britain and the National Chiang Kai-shek University in pre-Communist China. He became a talented capitalist manufacturer, and was famed in Hong Kong through the 1970s as the Flashlight King of the World, through his firm, Sonca. He caused a stir in 1974 when he said there were two many business bosses in political power, and that members should be drawn from 'a broader segment of society' and there should be voices who could 'speak for the workers of Hong Kong'. His comments were so true and so useful that the British gave him a CBE and a knighthood. Times have changed. Sir S.Y. Chung, known to his friends as S.Y. , now is happy to be convenor-designate on the Exco-designate, to be run almost exclusively by business people. No doubt it won't be long before he repeats the comments about the bad effects of having too many business bosses in power. He now also is plain ol' Dr Chung Sze-yuen. Him, a colonial lackey? No way. But there's one teeny little bit of advice this column can humbly offer him. He describes himself on his press statements as 'Dr Chung Sze-yuen, Convenor of the HKSAR Executive Council' (that troublesome word 'designate' has been left off again). And he has forgotten to revise the 'answer-back' on his fax machine. Each statement comes neatly topped with the former colonial title: 'Sir S.Y. Chung'. Giordano's troubles in China mean that mainland citizens stand to lose some of their access to the company's T-shirts, and the plummet in the share price (20 per cent down yesterday, 40 per cent down over the month) means many investors here will have lost their shirts. How curious that a garment firm could be the cause of people losing clothing, literally and metaphorically. Why pay professional prices when you can see drama this good? The audience gasped at the realism of the simulated fight between two actresses in The Trial , a play running as part of the Fringe festival this week. It really looked as if the play's star, Sally Dellow, got a thorough bashing from Juliet Prew on Saturday night. In fact, she did. Sally spent much of the rest of the night in a real life casualty ward. She suffered a broken nose and two black eyes. Not wanting to let the side down, she has continued to star in the play every night. 'The show must go on,' she told her colleagues. It ends tonight. 'The fight scene has been tempered somewhat,' a spokesman told me yesterday. Yaqub Khan sent out his usual virulent fax yesterday. Like previous writings, it explained how he had been horribly wronged, and was in desperate need of justice. Unlike previous faxes, it was not addressed to the Government of Hong Kong. It was addressed to 'His Excellency Tung Chee-hwa', whose fax number Mr Khan has obtained. Is that a chorus of whoops of joy I hear from a certain big white house on Upper Albert Road? Called the post office enquiries hotline (2921 2222) yesterday. 'For the latest dates for posting 1996 Christmas cards, please press four,' it said. I bet a lot of people are calling the post office this month to ask for that information. Did you notice that the lawyer in the case of alleged Israeli Government corruption, which was reported yesterday, was named Bar-On? If he becomes a baron and gets barred from the legal bar, will the headlines say: 'Bar bar on Baron Bar-On'? And there was that picture yesterday of an American farmer whose herd of cows had frozen to death. Did you notice his name was Hrdlicka? Does he come from a long line of cow herders? How did they get their name? Hang on a minute. Michael Jackson scrawls graffiti on a towel, a mirror and a pillow case, and hotel executives of Oberoi Towers of Bombay are pathetically grateful? They want scrawl? I'm tempted to take my brats there and show them what scrawl in a hotel bedroom really means. The 'just a thought' for yesterday got snipped off for reasons of space. So you get two today: What do you give a person who has everything? A burglar alarm, of course. The most expensive vehicle to operate per kilometre is the Park'N Shop trolley.