Shhhh. Cunning officials at the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre have embarked on a sneaky plan to fool evil spirits. They are preparing signposts which identify the fourth floor of the new section of the building - the bit with the curvy roof on an island in the harbour - as the fifth floor. The spirits of bad fortune can read, apparently, but they cannot count (four is unlucky in Hong Kong, because in Cantonese it sounds like the word 'die'). This plan was revealed by Chan Kwok-fai, deputy senior manager of the Trade Development Council, who admitted the decision was for reasons of numerology. But this is the weird bit: The main part of the complex also has mis-numbered floors, but they don't match. The floor numbers there read: First, Second, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and Seventh. The builders have constructed a bridge that runs between - you guessed it - the 'fourth' floor of the existing block and the third floor of the new extension. Evil spirits and bad vibrations will find the floor labelled 'four' in the main building, rush across the bridge, only to find themselves on 'three'. Confused and distraught, they will leap off the bridge to their deaths, ensuring that visitors to the building will have good luck and live happily ever after. A Business Post reporter rang Peregrine Derivatives managing director Alan Mercer on Friday, and asked if his company had bought back any of its warrants in the past few days. He was immediately annoyed. 'It's rubbish,' he snapped. 'We wouldn't do that. Where did you hear that from? Did you make it up?' After two minutes, he rang back and admitted that his traders had bought back the company's warrants that day. Business Post - where even the stories we allegedly make up are true. Banknote 'fashions' are back - but this time it is the Bank of China's notes which are being rejected. They are fine to spend in Hong Kong itself, but have been declared unacceptable by some shops over the border, I hear from Nick Griffin. The problem: The notes carry a declaration that the bank 'will pay at the Hong Kong office'. Notes from Hong Kong Bank and Standard Chartered Bank say 'will pay on demand'. This is truly bizarre. Money produced by a country's own main bank is mistrusted by its people, while 'foreign' currency which is not supposed to be there at all is welcomed. Fax from Freda Greenway, following the up-the-kilt photograph in this newspaper on Friday: 'Do you think the Black Watch should change their name to 'Back Watch'?' Sincere Co has bought a Swiss franchise and opened Hong Kong's first Moevenpick Marche restaurant. It operates a system where the bill is handled by the customer, who pays on his way out. 'What if the customer loses the bill?' a diner asked Sincere Co president Philip Ma. He said the rule was that customers who lost their bills had to roll up their sleeves and do an eight-hour shift of washing up. The diner was thinking about it. 'The food's pretty pricey and the washing up would get rid of a lot of calories . . .' H.H.H. Hiew was curious as to whether the Lai Lai-lai mentioned in this column is the same as the Lai Lai-lai who works for China Light and Power. 'Imagine the confusion if they met,' said Mr Hiew, who I imagine is known as HHH to his friends. Introducer (to older Lai Lai-lai): Lai Lai-lai? Lai Lai-lai. (To younger Lai Lai-lai): Lai Lai-lai? Lai Lai-lai. A global organisation of law firms set up under the name Lexi Mundi, is to be presided over by a man named Steve Swindles. I wonder if he knows that Australian accountant, Robin Bastard? (Spotter: Fred Fredricks.) Linda Davy of So Kon Po recently had a letter from a Ms Alittlebit Yeung. When she gets older, will she change her name to Alittlebit Old? Imagine if she married a man named Mee (a real name in Hong Kong), then got divorced and married a man named Yu (another common name, here). She would then be Alittlebit Mee, Alittlebit Yu, and could claim the royalties from the Monkees hit record of the same name. Just a thought: Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most.