Rule at the Sanya International Hotel of Hainan Island, spotted by Mike Speak of Hong Kong University: 'Those animals easily burnt, easily exploded . . . are strongly prohibited to bring to the hotel.' Can anyone tell me which animals explode easily? Our previous editor tended to blow up unexpectedly, but only metaphorically.
I know cows can explode if a build-up of their methane emissions is ignited, but I have never found exploding cows a problem in modern hotels.
The official slogan of the baffling hotel is: 'Clienteles are god.' I know Hainan is popular with high rollers, but they may not wish to stay in this particular establishment. The rule book says: 'Hotel guest bringing expensive items or big quantity of cash must be kept in the custody of the hotel.' I'd hate to be the staff member who has to break the news to the tycoons: 'I'm sorry, sir, but the rules require that people carrying a lot of money must spend the night in the storage room.' From yesterday's edition of another Hong Kong English language newspaper, spotted by Ron Gullet of Emerson Radio HK: 'The Department [of Health] spokesman urged the public to cook food thoroughly and meat transport workers to prevent contamination of beef by E-coli.' Okay, meat transport workers. Line up and get in the oven NOW.
Letter sent by Clive Rigby, boss of Lippo Securities in Hong Kong, to investors (forwarded to me by Haresh Melwani of HM Capital): 'Any purchases or sales of Romanian securities which we make on your behalf are done entirely at your own risk. We will accept no responsibility for settlement, trading, custody, any fund transfers, currency conversions, safekeeping, placing, execution, or cancellation of orders.
'You acknowledge by trading in these securities that the risks are abnormal and unquantifiable. We will endeavour to perform all the normal functions of a securities broker but will not be held liable for any part of the transaction occurring outside our immediate control.
'Please rest assured that we will, nevertheless, charge you commissions with complete efficiency.' This is the name card of Kenneth Chow of On Hing Terrace, Central: 'Kenneth C.K. Chow.