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SCMP Reporter

The scene: The grand, high-ceilinged ballroom in the Governor's mansion in Upper Albert Road. Hundreds of toffs in black suits or ball gowns are sitting at tables.

 It is a formal occasion and Your Humble Narrator is on the stage, thanking our hosts.

 'We would like to thank the Pattens for allowing us to use this lovely house which they share with their children and pets. By the way, how are your whisky and soda?'  Fine, thank you, nod Chris and Lavender Patten, sitting with drinks in front of them.

 Pause.

 'And how are your dogs?'  The audience sniggers at the implication that the Governor and his wife are tipplers.

 The narrator points at the head table. 'The Governor, by the way, is the gentleman wearing a white jacket at this black tie dinner. The man is TOTALLY without fear.'  There were several jokes about the 28th Governor of this Crown Colony at the recent party thrown by the Hong Kong Society for the Protection of Children, and the victim of the jabs laughed louder than anyone else.

 Good-humoured and generous, the Pattens have been a godsend to Hong Kong charities. Before they arrived in 1992, you had almost to be a king or a president, and a pretty biggish one at that, to be able to spend any amount of time at Number One, Upper Albert Road.

 Since the Pattens arrived in 1992, they let in the very dregs of society, by which I mean business people and journalists.

 Income for many Hong Kong charities has jumped because the Pattens allowed their home (and themselves) to be used gratis. During their reign, there have been at least 70 full-scale charity balls at Government House.

 A few days after the party above, there was a ball at the Furama Hotel for the Matilda Child Development Centre. On stage, Nick Sallnow-Smith of Jardine Matheson said: 'Hong Kong is the most benign environment in the world for charity fund-raising.'  He's right, you know. You just have to ask nicely, and the stuff comes tumbling in. I recall auctioning a lump of driftwood from a beach on Lamma for $50,000.

 This delighted the sculptor, a permanently stoned young man who was present, although only in a physical sense.

 The Community Chest (a group of 140 charities) typically gets 60 per cent of its annual $188 million target from businesses. Figures from the Inland Revenue Department for the tax year ending on March 31, 1995, show donations from individuals amounted to a whopping $1.004 billion.

 In 1992, Sir David Wilson presided over a social welfare system that used about $6 billion of taxpayers' money. Last year, giveaway Governor Chris Patten directed $16 billion to be spent on social welfare, a 166 per cent increase that far outpaced inflation.

 And now the good news. This generosity may be retained.

 Hong Kong's Chief Executive-designate Tung Chee-hwa has got a definite charitable streak, as has his wife Betty Tung Chiu Hun-ping.

 Long before there was any word of him becoming a public figure, Mr Tung and his firm, Orient Overseas Container Lines, showed a tendency to give away money - and not just to Margaret Thatcher. OOCL sponsors a series of yacht races, the OOCL World Championship.

 The effervescent Betty Tung, like Lavender Patten, is a friendly woman who it is impossible not to like.

 Hong Kong's next first lady has for many years been co-director of the Hong Kong Red Cross, and is known for her volunteer work for hospitals.

 Next month, Chris and Lavender Patten will hand over the jobs of patron and president of the Community Chest to Mr and Mrs Tung.

 A few days later, on June 14, the proceeds of a 4,000-strong charity dinner at the new bit of the Convention Centre will be given to the Community Chest.

 But if you are leader of Hong Kong, you have to give up more than your time and money.

 We want sweat. Both Chris Patten and Tung Chee-hwa have donned boots and done sponsored walks in the hot sun recently.

 But do the Tungs have a big enough sense of humour to allow themselves to become public targets for comics and humourists?  Yes. Long before Mr Tung became a political figure, his firm got into the habit of sponsoring tables at balls, giving away cash at charity auctions, and - this is significant - once purchased a whole case of Lai See books, published by this newspaper, to hand out to corporate clients. The man has taste.

  The Spice Trader will be signing copies of Goodbye Hong Kong, Hello Xianggang at the SCMP Family Bookshop at Hong Kong-side Star Ferry, from 1 pm onwards today. Profits to Mother's Choice.



Charity cut from a revolutionary Patten