THE health care firm BUPA has been much in the news of late, what with the signing of a big deal with Prudential yesterday. But not mentioned at yesterday's press conference was the bizarre incident which befell ultra distance runner Wynnie Cosgrove in the BUPA 24-hour Track Race earlier this week. This spirited young lady flies around the track wearing a black eye patch on her right eye, which was removed by an accidental sword thrust at the age of five. Usually, Wynnie wears a glass eye, but since this is uncomfortable when she is running, she takes it out. Unfortunately, cleaners at the Sha Tin Sports Institute decided to clean the locker rooms. They found her eye, and, curiously, assumed that its owner was no longer interested in it. They binned it. The news was broken to Wynnie when she completed the race. After much embarrassed scrambling about in the garbage, staff found it and dusted it off. Fortunately, Wynnie has an excellent sense of humour. The running community was also talking yesterday of a little incident which happened to a member of the Little Sai Wan Hash. On Saturday night, he found himself as tired and emotional as a newt (a creature with an apparent propensity to be regularly in such a condition). He leapt into a taxi and was taken home to Yau Yat Chuen in the depths of darkest Kowloon. That was when he remembered he had moved house to Kennedy Road on Hongkong island three days previously. If the gentleman mentioned in this item would like to send $100 to charity, we may forget to mention his name in a follow-up item. The Inn Crowd KEN Atkinson of PCS International of Queen's Road, was trying to book a hotel room in Hanoi. Ken: Hello. I would like to reserve a room. Hotel: Sorry. Our hotel is full. Ken: But I haven't said when I wanted a room! Hotel: Sorry. Goodbye. Then there was a click as the hotel staffer hung up. Ken, amazed at this treatment, phoned again. Ken: Hello - please don't hang up. I would like to reserve a room from March 1st. Hotel: Sorry. Our hotel is full today. Ken: But I DON'T WANT a room today. I want one next Monday. Hotel: Sorry. We are full today. Ken: No, not today, next Monday. Hotel: Oh. You booked a room next Monday? Ken: No. I WANT to book a room next Monday. Hotel: Oh, sorry. I understand! Please excuse me. Then the hotelier hung up again. Hanoi is not yet ready to steal Hongkong's crown for having the best hotel service in the world. Short trip A BUSINESS traveller called us on his way to the airport last night. His Cathay Pacific diary told him that a direct flight from Hongkong to Los Angeles was 12,194 kilometres. It also told him that a direct flight from Los Angeles to Hongkong was only 12,082 km. Where are the missing 112 kilometres? ''Is it something to do with Los Angeles having a longer runway?'' the traveller asked. No. It's very simple. The extra kilometres clocked up when leaving Hongkong is a phenomenon attributed to the fact that the territory is deep in the Twilight Zone. Just the shot DAVID French, sales director of Connaught Financial Planning, is off to Africa in April on a company trip. So he went to have a yellow fever jab at the government vaccination office in Wan Chai. He was handed a list of side-effects: ''Redness and swelling at the site of injection; headache and dizziness, fever, malaise and joint pain that occurs between the fifth and eighth day after injection; psychogenic shock; and rarely anaphylactic shock and encephalitis.'' David said: ''I'm not sure the disease would be as bad as the side-effects.'' To the letter SUSPICIOUS readers pointed out that yesterday's letter to Judith Mackay could have had its address washed off just before it reached her home in Sai Kung. Sylvia Yung of Mei Foo Sun Chuen, Kowloon, commented: ''I assume you conducted the appropriate tests to determine the address was made indecipherable due to the Scottish rain and not via a Hongkong mailman's sneeze.'' An even more cynical view came from dry-witted accountant Tony Nedderman: ''You are being naive. It was not Scottish rain which washed out the writing - it was Hongkong spit! The postman, who was a smoker and civil rights activist, spat on the envelope in true Hongkong style as an expression of his feelings in view of the gooddoctor's long history of gross infringement of other people's civil liberties.'' Et tu, Elsie? GOOD to see Financial Secretary Hamish Macleod giving up his number plate ''2'' for auction. Will the charming Vice-President of Legco be given her own number plate? We are told the President drives around in ''LC 1'', so the Vice-President should have ''LC 2''. Since her name is LC 2, er, we mean Elsie Tu, it would be rather apt. Good thing she isn't Elsie Elliott any more.