Hmm. Let's think about this. Take an organisation called the Independent Commission Against Corruption. Remove the word 'Independent'. What sort of message does that send? First problem: It would be pronounced as 'cack', which is what people will assume the ICAC will become if there is any implication that it has lost its independence, even verbally. A second problem. CAC is already a known acronym in Hong Kong, and it means Chinese Arts and Crafts, which could lead to some interesting misunderstandings. 'Mr Chan, there's a man from the CAC outside, and he says he has come to arrest you.' 'I have never shopped in such a naff department store. Throw him down the stairs.' Reader Dan Tuecke of On Lan Street, Central, reckons it should be renamed Commission Against Corruption of United Patriots. 'It could then henceforth be known as CAC UP,' he said. If our incoming leaders are so touchy that the mere word 'independent' alarms them, there is something seriously wrong. Coming next: All major freeways in Hong Kong to be known as 'ways'. Independent Television to be known as Television. The Sincere Department Store to be renamed Department Store. Goodyear Tyres henceforth to be known as Year Tyres. Honest Motors, the car firm at the Bank of America building in Admiralty, to be known as Motors. The source of this story swears it is true. A woman went out and showed some friends a Hong Kong $2 coin bearing the head of Queen Elizabeth II (as indeed all such coins did until recently, and hundreds of thousands still do). She offered to sell it as a colonial souvenir. She sold the coin to the highest bidder, who paid $9 for it. The scene: The posh Beijing International Golf Club in China's capital. The date: May 20, day of the annual Capital Club Golf Tournament. The format was an elimination scramble, in which foursomes take turns hitting balls from one spot, and the team chooses the best shot to play on with. Whoever's shot is chosen is eliminated from the next hit. One team consisted of bigshots, included He Ping, son-in-law of the late Deng Xiaoping and now a retired general turned arms merchant. At the end of the tournament, they posted a score of 64, way ahead of all other players. Officials worked out that the team had not followed the rules. The team pleaded ignorance of the elimination regulation, thus gaining a big advantage. After an hour of negotiation came this diplomatic decision: Two groups were declared champions. The winners were the big shots and the team who won by the rules, I hear from my source, who was present at the match. The prize, for all eight players: A trip to the American golf mecca, Pinehurst, North Carolina, for a tournament in July. Everyone's a winner in the New China! This is a verbatim transcript of a conversation that took place between Paul Brown, a Hong Kong chartered surveyor, and staff at the office of Air Philippines, at Manila domestic airport at 3pm on Tuesday last week. Paul: Look, I've been waiting here for more than one hour. All I want to know is whether you'll sell me a ticket for this evening's flight to Subic Bay. Staff: Yes, sir. The flight is at 6.30, but we're very busy right now. Please come back later. Paul: Exactly what time? Staff: Eight o'clock. Warning: The following appears to be a joke but in fact is true. There has been set up an organisation called 'The Association for Celebration of Reunification of Discovery Bay with China'. Maybe it should be reunified with the rest of Hong Kong first? Nouveaux riches parents made ostentatious special arrangements at the top UK school's speech day, The Times reported. A group of parents organised a marquee and a champagne reception for special invited guests. 'Their sons are mortified,' a school sneak told a Times diarist. The group of parents is known as The Hong Kong Set (cringe, yes, it's our lot). Report from the screens of AFX-Asia yesterday: 'An institutional dealer said the shares rose on speculative activity from interested investors.' Well, it's hardly going to come from uninterested investors. Just a thought: Nothing recedes like success.