HOW many radio shows must you pull off the Hong Kong airwaves to get a British expat packing? Only one, according to The Times. 'Forget the imported Mars bars and newspapers,' writes David Watts, 'What will really leave British expatriates culturally deprived is the ending of The Archers.' The Archers, we all ask? Well, the Archers is the longest-running BBC radio drama based around the heady goings-on of a fictional farming family in an English rural community. The British nation loves it. And, says The Times, it was also the cultural cornerstone for many an expat household too. 'It's my routine every night,' says one desperate expat wife. 'As soon as I come through the door I turn it on.' Reports The Times: 'Radio Television Hong Kong has decided not to [continue airing the series] because it is thought to be politically incorrect. But with skilled blending of government and agricultural propaganda, surely a Phil Archer [the closest the show gets to a gumboot-wearing heart-throb] with Chinese characteristics could do wonders for the propaganda department in Beijing.' The British left many things behind. The Archers should not be one of them.
easy as NBC WHILE most American news giants gave the Hong Kong handover maximum coverage - ABC devoted 11 hours to the handover while rival CBS gave 12 - NBC 'offered a scant three minutes', noted The Hollywood Reporter.
ABC filled its big-rating Good Morning America slot with its live Hong Kong feed and showered their breakfast-munching viewers with the Tamar rain dripping off Prince Charles' cap while the rival NBC Today show was interviewing actor Will Smith.
While ABC and CBS showed wall-to-wall coverage of the historic events at the new Convention Centre, NBC showed Pete Sampras playing Byron Black at Wimbledon. So just how many NBC staffers were forced to fly business class, stay in five-star hotel splendour and had to endure expense account entertainment for who knows how many days? Well, something like 60. That's three for every second of television produced.
wicker work HOW many Brits does it take to sum up a nation's sorrow. Only one. As long as that one is Alan Wicker, of course. Once it had all happened; after Chris Patten had shed his final tear, after the Union Jack flag had come down for the last time and the Royal Yacht Britannia left, the British media was in no mood for impartiality. No talk of 150 years of shame for them and who better than mournful Alan Wicker to sum it all up.
'It was as if the heavens were crying last night,' he lamented in Britain's Daily Mirror. 'The harsh rain beating down on Hong Kong seemed entirely appropriate on this most wretched of days.' Why the tears, Alan? 'Like so many Britons' he explains, with his stiff, very British upper lip, wobbling with emotion, 'I've enjoyed so many wonderful times here.' We know Alan. We've seen them all on TV.