Obviously the wine producers of the world, in a neverending quest to convert that elusive chunk of the market not yet enamoured of - or addicted to - the juice of the fermented grape, have come up with the inevitable brainstorm - a wine whose very name removes the fear of finding out for yourself, and tells you exactly what to drink it with.

I scanned the shelves in search of a Rich & Buttery, a Pungent & Tangy or perhaps even a Bland & Tasteless. But rather than anxiously await their arrival, I began to feel sad and a bit mad. To deprive someone of the unique sensation of discovering on their own the magic of a marvellous wine, or the delicious thrill of successfully pairing one's own personally-pleasurable food and wine combinations, is to take away the second-best part of the entire wine experience. This superficially-helpful winemaker has unwittingly created a kind of Joy of Sex answer to the question 'When and How Should I Drink Wine?' Whenever you get the urge is the answer (which will hopefully be frequently and often), because it is one of life's great pleasures. No need for a primer, really.

Experimenting, sampling, tasting and deciding is a job for your own senses and priorities.

When the discovery process of all the nuances about wine comes naturally, gradually and from the heart, the eventual delight is so much more intense and intrinsically appreciated. Trust me. I've tried it both ways and I speak from experience.

I say anyone who picks up a bottle of Hot & Spicy deserves what he or she gets - someone else's opinion, with all the mystery and magic removed.