ENGLAND v Moldova (ESPN) live on the box was too late for this column's deadline but using my mystic powers I predict that at some time during the broadcast you yelled: 'No, no, you idiot'. Not at the fumbling efforts of the players, but at the commentary. Poor old Tommy Smyth, ESPN's match analyst, has that effect every time. It's at the point where you cringe whenever he butts in. Tommy possesses a goldmine of naff information and dubious opinions. If there's a danger of the action on the pitch getting too serious he will lighten the moment with a bizarre interjection. Among his recent verbal belly-flops was bracketing Jack Charlton with Roy Hodgson as a top coach who did little as a player - Tommy had a point, of course, barring the small matters of two Fairs Cups, one FA Cup, two League Championships and one, ahem, World Cup on the Charlton credit side. And in a fine example of subjective interpretation he likened Benito Carbone's second goal v Blackburn to David Beckham's halfway effort v Wimbledon last season - they WERE alike inasmuch as the ball ended up in the net (or the bulge ended up in the old onion bag, to paraphrase Tommy). But say what you like about the man, Smyth does at least sound enthusiastic as he delves into the reference books with Motsonian relish. In fact he does the work of two men. Laurel . . . and Hardy. The next episode of Tommy Smyth's comedy show is Wed-nesday's Champions' League match. Newcastle v Barcelona is the mouth-watering live game on ESPN while STAR Sports weigh in for the first time with Kosice v Manchester United, also live. And there are live Asian World Cup qualifiers on STAR and Wharf with China's home opener v Iran the main attraction.