REMEMBER those happy days when America's Funniest Home Videos was just a once-weekly, minor embarrassment? Then Totally Hidden Video and Video Challenge crept on to the small screen, with apparently endless supplies of footage of people being made to lookfoolish. Knock them not, for apparently here in Hongkong, we have an insatiable appetite for such trash - AFHV was voted Pearl's most popular programme in a recent magazine poll. Now, the tacky TV tables are about to be topped again by a sordid little series called Best of the Worst (Pearl 12.55 am). The premise is the same - to show ordinary folk in the worst possible light - to which end we're promised such delights as a barbedwire collectors' convention, people who smell armpits and taste insects for a living, and a medium who's in touch not with dead people but with dead dolphins. Sounds like a must-see for the discriminating viewer. * * * * TALKING about tacky, two-part mini-series The Women of Windsor (Pearl 9.45pm) promises a few cheap laughs. The synopsis describes it as the ''behind-the-scenes story of two British women, Sarah Ferguson and Diana Spencer, whose hopes for love are thwarted by the demands of their marriages into England's most powerful family''. Don't think Charles and Andy are going to come out of this one smelling of roses. * * * * BETTER to stick with a good old-fashioned detective yarn in Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer: Murder Takes All (World 9.30 pm, ORT 93 mins) starring Stacy Keach. This one sees the private dick kidnapped and dropped in the Nevada desert just outside Las Vegas, where he finds he's the prime suspect in a murder investigation. Hammer starts searching for a diary that's the key to the killing, then murders two and three take place. Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) plays his lust interest. * * * * IT'S International Women's Day and to mark the occasion The Pearl Report (7.35 pm) is devoted to women's issues in Hongkong. The programme looks at discrimination against women in the areas of work and wages and reveals that the government has been ''looking into'' sexual discrimination for at least eight years, but shows no sign of taking any action to prevent it. Sexual abuse and rape are also discussed as is the changing role of women within Hongkong society. * * * * WILDLIFE on One (Pearl 6.15 pm) looks at how the chimpanzees of the Tai Forest on West Africa's Ivory Coast have been causing scientists to re-think traditional theories on man's evolution. Shot over two years, footage shows how the chimps form organised hunting parties to kill monkeys for food and make and use 19 different tools. * * * * WHET your appetite for live FA Cup soccer action in the wee hours, by first watching highlights from the Premier League in English Soccer (Pearl midnight). The featured match this week is Coventry vs Everton. Later, the last of the FA Cup Quarter-final matches will be broadcast live on ATV's Home channel (3.30 am). Sheffield Wednesday and Derby will do battle for the remaining place in the semi-finals.