In Spain, it is crucial to get the drinking, eating and dancing hours right. If not, you may find yourself alone in the right place at the wrong time - and I speak from experience.
It was not until I made the rounds with a Spaniard that I got the hang of the ritual. If you want to blend in with the locals, you must have a pre-lunch aperitif - around noon - of a glass of well-chilled, pale gold, crisply dry fino (the classiest, most civilised of sherries) with perhaps some olives, freshly steamed crayfish or grilled sardines.
On my first trip a sweetish Pedro Domecq was all the rage. On another visit, it was Tio Pepe, medium dry. Recently I heard Antonio Barbadillo Sherry is the flavour of the month.
A long lunch begins around three. Drinks and snacks are consumed in crowded neighbourhood bars prior to dinner, from around seven to eight. This means beer, cocktails or sherry again, accompanied by an endless parade of tapas - small dishes of delectable sauteed, grilled and stewed nibbles.
Dinner is no earlier than nine, often 10. Dancing under the stars or at a disco may begin as late as 3am.
Shuffle this strict line-up and you will wonder where everyone has gone.