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Jane Moir

Developers are at long last being creative - not with their monolithic concrete creations, but when trying to sell them.

First of all, it was Sun Hung Kai's 'Symphony Bay' along Sai Kung's Three Fathoms Cove.

Not sure all the drilling and crashing of construction work makes a symphony at Viola Villas, though.

Cheung Kong get top marks with DeerHill Bay opposite the Tolo Harbour - apparently 'a celebration of timeless beauty and grace'.

The blurb continues: 'Gentle charm and delicate poise, noble virtues of a deer as it strolls in the forest. Just like DeerHill Bay.' It is the panoramic views of 'aquamarine sea dotted with islands pamper your eyes' which really take the biscuit.

Tolo Harbour - one of the filthiest water bodies in Hong Kong - aquamarine? True, it once supported coral, but today it is so grungy the Government is even seriously considering filling it in.

For more housing, of course. And then where will the panoramic views be? Granny power Forget the Arnold Schwarzeneggers of this world. If the ludicrous cake run of last Monday has proven anything, it is that you will always come off second best in a stampede when you are up against one of Hong Kong's mini-army of little old ladies.

 Television pictures showed these elbow-stabbing, bag-flailing, heel-sticking desperados at the head of all the shop queues, waving their cake coupons as if their Mark Six numbers had come up, but the cash prizes only went to those who could make the biggest fuss.

 Little wonder the Police Tactical Unit was called in.

 Should Hong Kong ever need an embassy storming, we say send in the Granny Corp.

Baking heat According to the managing director of Saint Honore cake shops, Glenn Chan, the most stubborn bunch of bag-slingers can be found in Tsuen Wan. On Wednesday morning, 24 hours after all the fuss had died down across the rest of Hong Kong, 20 die-hards in the New Territories were still holding a noisy vigil inside the outlet, until freshly baked re-supplies put a bun in it.

Wasted talks Backbites nearly choked to death trying to get into the new extension of the Convention Centre last week.

 Outside the entrance were several dozen stationary coaches and a fleet of chauffeur-driven cars, all with their engines pumping noxious fumes into the atmosphere.

 And what were the delegates discussing? Pollution and sustainable development at the 'Pollution in the Metropolitan and Urban Environment' meeting, no less.

A lost cause They may do a wicked line in coconut oil, but the Body Shop appear to be providing work for themselves when it comes to recycling.

 The company recently set up a paper recycling collection point at the Star Ferry, a worthy endeavour. And it has recently been going out of its way to inform the mass media of its other endeavours - but the concept of waste reduction appears to have eluded the public relations boffins.

 The PostMagazine not only received three press releases in four envelopes (one of them was duplicated), but they were all sent on the same day.

 Surely one piece of paper with all the information in one envelope would have been enough? Low-flying Socialites accustomed to the more refined things in life face a rude awakening at next February's Aerospace Ball to be held amid the rubble and building work of Chek Lap Kok airport.

 Organisers promise lashings of champagne, dancing on the runways and a sneak preview of the new main terminal at what will surely be one of next year's not-to-be-missed events.

 However, Aerospace Forum head Martin Craigs warned guests not to bring their 'more delicate friends' to the $2,000-a-head event.

 'There will be no marble ballrooms, in fact there will barely be running water,' he admitted.

 A case of a walk on the wild side for the average pampered tai tai, it seems.



Only in the imagination